POST PEACH BOWL - END OF SEASON THERAPY

·        (Therapist) Well, well, look whose here.  It’s Buddy Putty, in for his annual ‘there is more to life than OU football’ reality check. What’s wrong Bud, … life in the pits after that Peach Bowl?

·        (The OAS) Haha.  Good to see you haven’t changed. How are you, Doc?

·        (Therapist) I’m great … and one of the reasons that I’m great is due to the fact that my world doesn’t solely revolve around a stupid game played by 18-22 year-old kids in matching outfits.  You should try it.

·        (The OAS) Yeah, Yeah.  I’ll put it on the list.  

·        (Therapist) Sure you will.  Well, before we get started, would you like some coffee or a turnover?  They’re peach – and they’re to die for.

·        (The OAS) Peach.  Turnover.  To die for.  Seriously?

·        (Therapist) Oh, that’s right… You’re a Sooner. I forgot – you'll gag on a peach – and the only thing you know about turnovers – is that they Hurts. 

·        (The OAS) (Sigh) Are you through yet?

·        (Therapist) Oh, don’t be so ‘defensive.’ Wow, when was the last time that was said to a Sooner (laughing) – why aren’t you laughing, this is funny stuff.

·        (The OAS) The whole turnover and defense thing isn’t funny anymore.  All year long I heard our defensive coordinator, Alex Grinch, say over and over again: “Our sole purpose on the field is to get the ball back to the offense somehow, someway. Yet we only forced 11-turnovers all year – which tied the all-time low set last year.

·        (Therapist) Only 11?  Is that what they call a Sooners Dozen?  Okay, that was a cheap shot … but seriously, please tell me you have a little more depth about you than to let something as irrelevant as a lack of turnovers effect your life.

·        (The OAS) Speaking of depth – How can a program as prominent as OU, have so little depth on defense? When Kenneth Murray left the game against LSU – his replacement was a walk-on who came into the game having made only 8-more tackles on the year than I had.  We lost one safety before the game to injury and another during the game to stupidity – and as a result – we had two guys straight out of the witness protection program on the field going up against a Heisman QB. The only chance of seeing those two even close to an LSU receiver would be if you ran the game film in reverse.

·        (Therapist)  You know, this whole conversation is so ridiculous.  I always have such high expectations for you when you come in here – only to continually be disappointed. Sometimes I think it would be easier if you didn’t have so much potential.

·        (The OAS) I know, right?  So much potential - but yet it's been 19 seasons since we've won a title. That is 5-seasons longer than the 14 years between Barry Switzer’s last title and the 2000 title in Bob Stoops’ second season. But during this current 19-season drought, OU has won at least 10-games 16 times, won a dozen Big 12 Crowns and has an overall record of 206-49 (.808 winning %). Hell, four Sooners have even won the Heisman. 

·        (Therapist) Is there a point here soon … or do you just enjoy making my ears bleed with this useless rhetoric?

·        (The OAS) My point is that there are 130 FBS teams, almost all of which enter every season knowing that there is basically a 0% chance of them winning the national title.  At OU, our expectations are to win national championships. Even though that hasn’t happened in nearly two decades, we’ve been painfully close. We lost BCS Title games in 2003, ’04 and ’08, and reached the College Football Playoff in 2015, ’17, ’18 and ’19. It’s a …

·        (Therapist) First of all … stop with the ‘we’ and ‘us’ and ‘our’ because you’re not on the team, so stop insulting the player who actually are.  Secondly, so the school you attended is the Buffalo Bills of college football – so what?  At least you’re not a Longhorn fan.

·        (The OAS) Okay, both good points, but damn … aren’t therapists supposed to listen and not interrupt? You talk more than a book-on-tape narrator.

·        (Therapist) Aren’t 54-yr. old men supposed to be above breaking lamps and cussing like you have Tourette Syndrome during a football game.

·        (The OAS) Anyway … where was I.

·        (Therapist) Yata, yata, we suck at winning the big game, yata, yata, we’re everybody’s playoff bitch, yata, yata …

·        (The OAS) Oh ya … Well, it’s a tough balance.  Knowing we weren't that good, some of my friends would’ve actually preferred that we didn’t make the playoffs this year.

·        (Therapist) That’s hard to believe.

·        (The OAS) That they didn’t want us to make the playoffs? I know, right?

·        (Therapist) No, I was talking about the part where you said you had friends. 

·        (The OAS) And another thing I'll say is that I’m very glad that Jalen Hurts is gone. He was the most over-rated thing since soap-on-a-rope.  Not only did he continually miss seeing wide open receivers and turn our running backs into spectators -  but he also gave up balls at a rate that would make Bruce Jenner envious. I think he might have been the worst QB to ever get invited to the Heisman ceremony – don’t you think?

·        (Therapist) What do I think? Since seldom do people care about criticism that comes from someone they wouldn’t consult advice from - I think that Jalen Hurts could give a shit about what you think.  It's amazing to me that someone like you, who’s never played a snap of college football, and whose 40-yard dash could be timed with a sun-dial – is criticizing a young man who won a national championship, went 38-4 as a starter and finished second in the Heisman voting.  

·        (The OAS) Wow.  When you put it like that, it doesn’t make me sound very good. Are you sure it's not about the titles?

·        (Therapist) Yes, I'm sure.  Maybe you should concentrate on the impact your having on things in your life – and less about the mark other are making in their lives.

·        (The OAS) Maybe so - but this seems a lot easier.

·        (Therapist) Yes, I can see why you'd think that - figuring yourself out would require an intellect that seems to elude you.  Well, time is up - thank God.  Since I was kind of hard on you today – instead of $150.00 - Just write me a check for $63.28.

·        (The OAS) 63-28. Really? You couldn’t just let it go could you?

·        (Therapist) No, I guess not. But honestly, Buddy – think about what I said.  When you come in next year hopefully you’ll have grown some as a person.

·        (The OAS) Sure, sure … but speaking of next year ... I think things are going to be different. Have you heard about our 5-Star QB, Spencer Rattler?

Only 242 more days until kickoff.

Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Guy -

The Overweight Armchair Sooner 

- Buddy Putty

AN ABSOLUTE BUCKIN' ASS KICKIN' - Part 1

BUCKIN' ASS KICKIN' – PART 1

#5 OKLAHOMA 31 #2 OHIO STATE 16

“National Title Contender vs. College Football Playoff Pretender.”

The endless number of promos that ESPN ran on their networks last week, hyped last Saturday night’s game as an early season match-up of top ranked teams … two of college football’s blue-bloods slugging it out in prime-time from the Horseshoe in Columbus, Ohio.  Aka …  The Rematch

“THE Ohio State University vs. Overrated U

The endless number of college football experts who spoke on ESPN last week, hyped last Saturday night’s game as an early season match-up of top ranked teams … two of college football’s blue-bloods, slugging it out in prime-time from the Horseshoe in Columbus, Ohio.  Aka …  The Mismatch

“The Powerful & Deep Big 10 vs. The Soft & Weak Big 12”

Lee Corso was far from being the only expert to pick Ohio State, but labeling Oklahoma as
a playoff pretender proved to be a little 'nuts - even for him

Having played a year ago in Norman, the OU-OSU game was indeed a rematch … and you’d be hard pressed to find anyone outside of Austin or Ann Arbor who would argue against the fact that Oklahoma and Ohio State are two of the more storied programs in college football.  Hell, not even the late Johnny Cochran could convince 12 people to find reasonable doubt in the evidence provided that both teams were highly ranked and that the game was played in Columbus, Ohio. ‘If the ‘Shoe doesn’t fit, you must acquit,’ ain’t gonna work, sorry Johnnie.  The fact is … The only thing that anyone could argue about, was whether or not the game was gonna be a mismatch.  But no one did. 

Look, in light of the 45-24 ass kicking the Sooners received from the Buckeyes in Norman last season … it wouldn’t have been a surprise to hear that the majority of college football experts felt Ohio State would prevail again this year, especially with the Sooners having a new head coach (see previous blog entry of coaching match-up) and the game being played in Columbus. But it wasn’t just a majority of the experts, it was every expert. Hell, you’d have had a better chance of turning on your TV to find Meryl Streep extolling the greatness of President Trump, then you would’ve hearing one of ESPN’s college football experts predicting a Sooner victory.  The fact is … The only thing anyone could argue about, was whether or not the game was gonna be a mismatch.  But no one did.  Turns out they were right....it was a mismatch.

Oklahoma 31 Ohio State 16 – and it really wasn’t that close.

Next Up = Part 2 - OAS Observations & Opinions

Just the opinion of one mildly interested guy -

Boomer Sooner 

The Overweight Armchair Sooner 

Buddy Putty 

MULESHOE GOES TO THE HORSESHOE

An interesting game within the game this coming Saturday night, will be the match-up of coaches.  

ON THE OHIO STATE SIDELINE - 53-year old head coach - URBAN MEYER. 

Urban, an Ohio native, is considered by Buckeye fans to be the second coming of Woody Hayes, only better looking and a lot less likely to punch an opposing player.  

Dublin, Ohio, the city in which Meyer resides, recognized Meyer leading of the Buckeyes to the 2014 National Championship, by renaming a street in his honor.  

In 2016, Dos Equis wanted to make Meyer the feature in their ‘Most Interesting Man in the World’ ad campaign, but Meyer declined, citing a lack of interest and a need to spend more time with his family.  Okay, I may have made that one up.

 Meyer’s trophy case has more hardware then isle 6 thru 9 at Home Depot – Multiple Conference Coach of the Year Awards, 2x National Coach of the Year.  The Sporting News and Sports Illustrated thought he was so good that they both named him the College Coach of the Decade…yes, decade.

But most impressive, is the fact that Meyer has been a winner everywhere he’s been.  As a head coach, Meyer resurrected a miserable Bowling Green program.  He led Utah to their first undefeated season in 74-years. In his six seasons at Florida, he guided the Gators to two National Championships, and since taking over at Ohio State in 2012, Meyer has guided the Buckeyes to a record of 62-7, and a National Title in 2014.

ON THE OTHER SIDELINE – 34-year old head coach – LINCOLN RILEY. 

Born in 1983, Lincoln is the youngest head-coach in the FBS…which means he isn’t old enough to remember Woody Harrelson being on Cheers, much less Woody Hayes being on the sideline in Columbus. 

Second coming? Maybe, but for now, more like second choice. Look, that’s not a slap at Lincoln, in fact, personally, I’m thrilled to have him and think he’ll do well. I’m even on the record as saying that a young fearless Lincoln might have its advantages over the veteran Stoops.  But when your programs all-time winningest coach, who has accumulated more conference championships than he has home losses, suddenly retires … it’s a tough thing to spin as being positive.  Bob Stoops had a few flaws, but at 57, he was far from being past his prime or simply holding on too long like Bobby Bowden, Joe Paterno or Lee Corso.  Like I said, I’m thrilled to have Lincoln, but I also wasn’t ready to lose Stoops yet … or at least that particular Stoops.

Town where Lincoln grew up: Muleshoe, Texas, population of 5,124.  Stadium where Lincoln will coach his first road game: Ohio Stadium, known as The Horseshoe, population 109,000

Despite leading the Muleshoe Mules to the Class 3A State Semi-final game in 2000, Muleshoe has yet to rename a city street in Lincolns honor. Could have something to do with the fact there is only one – and it’s called Main St. 

Dos Equis spokesperson? I think Lincoln would settle for not being confused with Texas Tech's coach Bro'.  Besides - Lincoln doesn’t always drink beer, but when he does, he is asked for his I.D.

Trophies? Well, in 2015, Lincoln won the Broyles Award, an annual award given to honor the best assistant coach in college football.  The trophy looks like something that might’ve fallen off one of Meyer’s College Coach of the Decade trophies when the movers were getting it out of the truck.  

Saturday night will be the second time Lincoln has ever been the head coach of anything, and the first time he’s ever done it outside Cleveland County, Oklahoma.  But hey, he has never lost yet – and not even the great Urban Meyer can say that. 

Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Guy -

Boomer Sooner

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Buddy Putty

OHIO STATE vs OKLAHOMA - PART I - THE PREGAME

"You can't drink all day, if you don't start in the morning" - Celia Rivenbark

McKnight and I pulled out of Fort Worth at 9:30 AM…then used the two-and-a-half-hour drive to Norman as an opportunity to catch up on each other’s life. Basically, I sat quietly as he spoke about his day-to-day life with a wife, 4 kids and a career, followed by him sitting quietly while I spoke about how I couldn’t comprehend his day-to-day life with a wife, 4 kids and a career.

DELTA TAU DELTA

One of the reasons for our early arrival was to attend a tailgate event at the Delta Tau Delta fraternity house, a place where McKnight and I were members and lived some 30 years ago...which sadly, might also be the last time anyone has bothered putting a coat of paint on the walls.  While seeing the condition of the 'shelter' was disappointing - it was good to see some people that I hadn’t seen in quite a while - like Jeff Johnson and his family, and pledge brothers Brant Allegretti and Mark Miller, just to name a few.

Outside Delt House at OU
 before Mekong Party in fall of 1984-
My freshman year

Just in case standing around the Delt house didn’t make me feel old – witnessing first-hand how many of my friend’s kids were now attending OU certainly did.  Wow, I couldn’t even point out how 'hot' some co-ed was in fear that it was the daughter of one of my friends…So instead, I just thought it quietly to myself.  Hey – progress is progress.

Speaking of hot - until the storm hit - I felt like I was standing on the surface of the sun all day.  Not exactly an ideal setting for the OAS.

Next we hurried over to Campus Corner.  You know it’s a big game when the parking lot reserved for donors is already full at 2:00 for a game that doesn’t kick off until 6:30. The only spot left in the lot was a handicap spot – but since I felt that would accurately describe my condition later in the day – I took it.  I know, I know…I’m going to hell, but it’s not like I won’t know anyone when I get there.

Funnel Clouds moved kick-off
from 6:30 to 8:00 PM

Styx, McKnight, KT, Fast Eddie, Fricks and I spent the next five hours roaming between Fuzzy’s (of which McKnight is part owner)– the Humble tailgate - & the Coleman-Cox-Ross-Wheeler tailgate.  (Thank you to all of the just mentioned people for the food – adult beverages – and a place to enjoy both).  Yes, due to the weather delay that moved kickoff back from 6:30 to 8 PM – the pre-game festivities lasted 5 hours – actually 6 hours if you throw in the time spent at the frat house.  To the defense of our group - the extra hour and a half of drinking time was not taken into effect when originally planning the alcohol ration – so the fact that we all ceased being adults before the game even started - wasn’t really our fault (at least that’s our story and we’re sticking to it.)  Maybe the best moment of the day was when Styx got to have his picture made with the Mini-James Brown...complete with Styx screaming "I feel good" right before I took the picture. 

Styx with Mini-James Brown before game

But unfortunately, “I feel good” was a feeling that wouldn’t last that long once the game started.

JUST THE OPINION OF ONE MILDLY INTERESTED GUY -

BUDDY PUTTY -
THE OVERWEIGHT ARMCHAIR SOONER

NORMAN, WE HAVE A PROBLEM - PART 2

DIFFERENT ‘CAT – BUT RESULTS THE SAME

▪ OU takes opening kickoff and drives the length of the field to take a 7-0 lead. ▪ Defense bends but doesn’t break – stops opponents high powered offense inside red-zone – holding them to field goals. ▪ Then a personal foul penalty stops one Sooner scoring drive ▪ Close game at halftime.

▪ OU special teams are horrible. Kicker gets the yips and opponent makes big play on special teams that changes the game. ▪ Opponent is converting 3^rd downs at ridiculous rate ▪ Opponent making plays, Sooners making mistakes. ▪ Sooners get behind, then panic – stray from game plan – OU Fails to execute trick play ▪ Sooners get outcoached - Sooners lose.

Sound Familiar?  Well, it should.  The two paragraph's above could've been used to describe the season opener against Houston, or the game the Sooners played 246 days ago against Clemson that ended their season. Either way - not a formula for success.

OFF-SEASON BLABBER & BULLSHIT

“Head coach Bob Stoops said Director of Sports Enhancement Jerry Schmidt indicated this has been the best summer in Schmidt's 18 years on staff in terms of players buying in to the off-season program and really investing themselves from both physical and mental standpoints.”

-           

F*** off-season and everything you hear about it, because it’s all rhetoric.   First of all, let me say a word about Jerry Schmidt’s title. Director of Sports Enhancement? Seriously?  You’re a strength coach, which in most people’s world – is one step above middle school P.E. teacher.  Get over yourself.  Just because you scream at young adults when it’s hot outside – doesn’t make you director of anything.  Hell, I’m overweight and drink too much – but that doesn’t make me - Director of Multiple Vices & Bad Habit Development.  Sorry, for the rant...I'm back now

Anyway…in my opinion, the three biggest bullshit statements ever uttered by humans are as follows: (1) When a woman tells you she “doesn’t care or nothing is wrong,” (2) when a man replies “no” in response to a woman’s question about her outfit – and how it portrays the size of her ass - and – (3) when a coach states “this was the best off-season we’ve had since we’ve been here.”

Example 1:

“…best summer…in terms of players buying in to the offseason program and really investing themselves from both physical and mental standpoints.”

Wow – really?  Because with 1:02 still left to go in the first half, 8 of the 11 Sooner defensive players on the field had hands on hips and their heads tilted back gasping for air like Kirstie Alley leaving a Krispy Cream store.  Hell, I scaled the stairs of section 105 - five different times in the first half (three times for beer, once for a cup of ice for my Crown and one unplanned jaunt when the usher asked me to “meet him in the concourse area to discuss my language”) – but you didn’t see me gasping – and I haven’t worked out since “Angel is a Centerfold” by the J. Giles Band topped the charts.

Example 2: “Junior, WR - Jordan Smallwood (6’2, 220)

 “Jordan probably had the best off-season of anyone on the team” said Coach Riley. “He’s made big strides – I’m excited about the impact he’ll have as part of the Wide Receiver rotation.”

Well, evidently not too excited Coach Riley – Because the star of the off-season played the same number of offensive snaps as I did – zero.

SCATTERSHOOTING….

-         I told anyone and everyone who would listen that I was worried about this game. Never been more disappointed to be right in my life.  Last season ended before dark on New Year’s Eve.  This one might’ve ended before Labor Day.

-         There were more Houston fans there than I thought there would be…that being said, these ears suspect that some of the Cougar fan clatter was the result of electronics.

-         Down by only 2 – the Sooners – both players and coaches – played as if down double digits.  Mayfield tried to hit home-runs – instead of taking what the defense was giving – and OC Riley abandoned the running game way to soon.

-         Once again, personal foul penalties were an issue.  The hands to the head call against Ogbonnia Okoronkwo (I had to cut and paste so my spell check wouldn't have a break down) when the Sooners had just stopped Houston on third down was a killer.  I would’ve dog-cussed him, except for the fact that I can’t say his name…but it was just as well, since Stoops was cussing him enough that anything I had to add would’ve fallen into the ‘piling on’ category – even by my standards.  As for Obo’s first game replacing Eric Striker - two plays (the penalty and a busted coverage that resulted in Houston TD) marred what otherwise would’ve been a stellar game for the Houston native (9 tackles, a sack, forced fumble – one Stoops dog cussing).

-         Look, it would be hypocritical for me to call out people for getting drunk at a football game…but the guy standing next to me was so shit faced by halftime that I had to issue an ultimatum.  He could either choose to (A) stop drinking – (B) stop spilling it on me (C) both or (D) I would choose for him.  What is the world coming to when I’m forced to be the “voice of reason?” What next, Charlie Sheen wins Humanitarian of the Year?”

-         The game will forever be remembered for the 109 yard - kick-6.  But what is forgotten – is the holding penalty on the play before that moved the kick back. The Sooners followed that miscue up with only 10 guys taking the field to line up for the long field goal attempt – which forced the Sooners to use a time-out. Since Houston showed their hand (they had a guy racing out to the back of the end-zone when the Sooners called for the time-out) you’d think the OU coaches might mention the possibility of a return should the kick come up short.  Look, with the guys the Sooners had on the field – Brandon Wilson could’ve run that for a touchdown – then turned around – and run it back the other way for 100 yards – and we still wouldn’t have tackled him – but I would’ve like to have seen the Sooner try to start tackling him before he had already run 35 yards.

-         Despite wearing a large amount of it – courtesy of the guy next to me - it was a real treat to have beer at a college football game– but the food at NRG was below par.  The peanuts were stale and the hot dogs were cold…which lead to me deciding to pass on the BBQ or Nachos. Besides – I tend to lose my appetite when OU gets down by double digits.

-         That’s all for this week – you saw the game and I’ve been negative enough – Sooners lost to a very good football team – but as last year showed us, they still have a lot to play for – but they have a lot of work to do before Ohio State comes to town.

JUST THE OPINION OF ONE “MILDLY INTERESTED” GUY

BUDDY PUTTY – THE OVERWEIGHT ARMCHAIR SOONER

ADVOCARE KICK-OFF CLASSIC: NORMAN WE HAVE A PROBLEM (PART 1)

#3 OKLAHOMA 22 #15 HOUSTON 33

I told anyone and everyone who asked, and some that didn’t – that I was worried about this game against Houston. The Cougars have a dual threat (which never bodes well for us), Heisman candidate in Greg Ward...one of 15 returning starters  from a team that finished 13-1 and ranked # 8 after dismantling Florida State in the Peach Bowl.  They have a Head Coach in Tom Herman who is considered to be the next big thing, if not that already - and recently added to the mix, the best recruiting class in Houston Cougar history, headlined by 5-star defensive tackle, Ed Oliver.  Oklahoma an 11.5 point favorite?  Hmm, somebody must know something I don't, cause that seems way high. 

The Sooners have done a lot of things well in the Stoops era, but turning in impressive season opening performances, is not one of them.  To many bad teams have hung around to make things more difficult than seemingly necessary over the years - games like: OU 31 Utah State 24 (@ home) in 2010, OU 24 UAB 17 (@ home) in 2006 and OU 24 UTEP 7 in El Paso back in 2012, a game the Sooners only led by 6 late in the 4th quarter.

           I also painfully recall the last time the Sooners opened the season playing in a NFL Stadium...against a team ranked in the top 20.  The year was 2009 - BYU the opponent - and the Sooners were favored by double digits. When the game started, the Sooners were ranked #4 and their starting QB had a Heisman Trophy sitting in his dorm room back in Norman.  When the night was over - OU was 0-1, ranked #16 - and their starting QB was a religious, red-shirt freshman with a porn-mustache from Artesia, New Mexico. 

WELL, AT LEAST THINGS STARTED OFF WELL –

Saturday, September 3rd

After a plate of Migas and a breakfast beer at a place called Goode & Co Taqueira (www.goodecompany.com) we headed over to NRG Stadium, arriving at Lot C about 9:20.  After Styx gave a squalid man in a Dan Pastorini Oilers jersey $30.00, we drove to the front of the lot and settled into a parking spot that couldn’t have been more than two OU personal foul penalties away from the stadium entrance.

Next, we needed tickets.  We’d decided to pass on StubHub, where lower level tickets between the 20’s were going for $200+, and instead, take our chances with scalpers.  I hadn't even had my arm raised and two fingers extended for a full minute - when an older gentleman and fellow Sooner fan asked me if I needed tickets.  When I say old, I mean history book, dog years, first car was a horse, kinda old.  I decided to pass on being a smart ass, since rarely do octogenarians understand or appreciate my smart ass brand of humor, and instead went with: “Yes, sir – I do.” Good call by me...Thanks to Father Time, we we’re now sitting 27 rows up on the 30-yard line for $90.00 each – some $30.00 below face value.  

NRG STADIUM -
HAS BECOME HOUSE OF HORROR
FOR SOONER NATION

Just when I didn’t think things could get any better – they actually did. The retractable NRG Stadium roof? – It was closed. The air-conditioning? – On full blast….and best of all – if you walked up to a kiosk in the concourse area and handed $10.75 to a person wearing a blue and red bib - they’d hand you back a luke-warm beer of your choice. Yes, at 10:42 AM – Life in the Sooner Nation was Nirvana. But as the saying goes – “all good things (like early 7-0 leads) must come to an end.”

Game Recap Next

JUST THE OPINION OF ONE MILDLY INTERESTED GUY

BUDDY PUTTY - 

THE OVERWEIGHT ARMCHAIR SOONER

Annual Coach Speak Blog - A MINUTE WITH THE LATE ANDY ROONEY

Ever notice how college football coaches never answer a question without using a cliche or generic coach-speak these days?  I have.  I'm curious, when did the health of a running back or the name of a starting quarterback become a matter of national security?  Politicians could learn a thing or two from listening to some of these coaches.  In fact, after listening to one particular head coach address the media and answer questions...I felt pretty certain that I now know less about his team than I did before he started. One coach even refused to discuss who he thought his punter would be.  Instead he offered that it was still a tight competition and that he felt no pressure to name a starter at this time.  I had a hard time deciding which was worse, the fact that he wouldn't answer, or that someone cared enough to ask.  I don't really even like kickers, do you?

One thing I've noticed is that almost all coaches like to have something to 'go back to' in the off-season.  Basics are probably the most popular choice.  You can be sure that any team that was bad the previous year has spent a lot of time getting 'back to basics.'  Other frequently mentioned 'go back to' subjects include the fundamentals, the X's & O's and the ever popular, 'back to what made us successful in the past.' Seems to me they should've never left that one to begin with.  Wouldn't you agree?

I've also noticed that 'going back to' can sometimes require a board of some type.  Some coaches will tell you they 'went back to the drawing board,' while others prefer 'going back to the chalk board because that wasn't the way we drew it up.'  Another oldy but goody is game film.  All coaches want to 'go back and look at the film, find their mistakes and fix them.'   Makes me wonder why they didn't do that during the season last year? Maybe the film projector was broken.  They should get that fixed if that was the case.

One thing I was surprised to learn was how much geometry was involved in coaching. If you can't talk in circles, I don't think you are allowed to coach. "We need to circle the wagons and figure some things out," "the problem is we have been running around in circles," "it always seems to circle back to one thing, taking care of the football," "`".  Then there is my favorite, the task of 'circling a date on your calendar.' This is when you pick out one of the teams that kicked your ass the previous year and make a big deal about it by circling the date that you play them this year.   I found it interesting that you can only pick one date to circle. I'm not really sure why that is, are you?  Maybe they don't want the really bad teams having a messy looking calendar. What do you think?

And what does it mean to give 110% anyway? I had no idea that the maximum amount of effort one could give was subject to inflation, did you?  Coaches want everything you've got, all you got and all you have to give.  They want your maximum effort, your 2nd and 3rd effort, then any extra effort you might still be hiding somewhere. You have to play till the whistle blows; the full 60 minutes, then when the game is over...you need to make sure you left it all out there on the field.  That paragraph made me tired just writing it.

I'm puzzled by what level is needed for a coach to be happy. They always want someone to step it up, take the next step, take it to the next level, to elevate their game.  Coaches can also be really confusing at times, wouldn't you agree? They want you to play smart, but you need to quit thinking and just react.  They want you to learn from your mistakes, but it is important to have a short memory.  You need to play with reckless abandon, but you can't be out of control.  I think sometimes you have to be a little bit schizophrenic to be a good football player.  Have we already talked about this? 

If you're like me, then you've probably noticed that head coaches are an aggressive bunch.  Everything is a battle, a war, a fight.  The game is played in the trenches, on a battle field or in a hostile environment.  This makes me sad.  This is supposed to be college football.  Let's keep the violence where it belongs...in kid's video games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.  

New head coaches are the most curious to me...they have a lot to do.  First, they have to change some things.  Got to change the culture, the attitude, the mindset, the way things are done and the way that we'll go about our business.  If there is a new head coach, then there is a lot to learn. Players are going to be learning how to win, new terminology, a new system, all of which is being taken in by their new mind set.  Is it any wonder that a new coach will tell you that his team is still trying to find itself, or is trying to figure out who they are? They need to find a therapist if you ask me.

Lastly, no coach-speak cliche summary would be complete without pointing out the importance of taking it one day at a time, one game at a time.  All injuries are day to day...and all evaluations are made by sitting down at the end of the day. Coaches want you to bring your A game every day, be consistent day in and day out...but don't get too excited about one game...because it is a long season. I've just about had enough of this preseason coach talk haven't you? We won't have to hear the same ole worn out lines once the season starts...right?

Hello, everybody, this is Brent Musburger with my pardner, Kirk Herbstriet." "Folks, let me tell ya, we got a dandy for you tonight." "Let's go down and check in on the sidelines with my good friend Jack Arute"

Just the opinion of one mildly interested guy

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Buddy Putty