OKLAHOMA 47 OSU 41
PART I
“Think I’ll just stay here and drink” – Merle Haggard
My mind was made up…I wasn’t going to go to the game…and I had plenty of reasons why.
To start with…I didn’t have a ticket….which, as most know, was no small issue this year. Secondly, the game was a 7:00 pm kickoff…which meant I needed a hotel room, a designated driver and a bodyguard in case we lost…none of which were currently reserved nor employed.
Next was the fact that Stillwater is not exactly close. From Dallas, it takes me 8 beers, a Johnny’s Chili Cheeseburger, 4 road rage incidents, 2 ½ Rosetta Stone Spanish CD’s (muted), 5 construction zones, a speeding ticket, 2 Hoya De Monterrey Excalibur #1 cigars, a bathroom stop, 16 phone calls and more text messages than I would like to publicly admit…or what amounts to about a 4 ½ hour drive to get to Stillwater. Then I have to turn around and do it again…except with a hangover.
But the real deal killer for me was the issues I would have to deal with once I got to Aggieville…let’s call it Cowboy virginity.
For the first time ever, OSU had a double digit number listed under the W side of the Win/Loss column. The Pokes would be playing for the chance to win the South Division outright, another first. Then, God forbid, if they were to win…they would then get a chance to play for the Big 12 Conference Title in Dallas, which again…would also be a first. An OSU win, would be a losing their virginity hat-trick, if you will.
Did I really want to be there if OSU were to pull this off? Did I really want to watch thousands of people, all in different shades of orange, pretend to be swaying grain…and did I really want to pay big money to do it? The answer was no. So, in the name of virginity…and for maybe the first time ever for anything…I was going to practice ‘abstinence’. Yes…it was official; I was not going to Stillwater.
Somewhere…some girl’s mother was finally going to be proud of me.
“I don’t know where this is going baby…it’s good, it’s easy, it’s hard and it’s crazy, but it sure feels right” – Radney Foster
I was on the road by about 9:30. The car was loaded…and like a good boy scout…I was prepared…except I didn’t have to wear the bad outfit. I had 19 different varieties of OU jackets, ranging from lazy breeze out of the south, to arctic blue northern. The beer was iced down; the crown was carefully poured into the plastic game-day flasks (yes plural). I had snacks, cigars, Rosetta, a phone charger…and just enough cash to make myself dangerous. In a word…bedlam.
What I didn’t have: was a ticket…a place to stay…and since I was solo, evidently any friends. But I didn’t care…I wasn’t going to miss this edition of bedlam. I wasn’t going to be intimidated by pumpkin colored people swaying like weeds, a QB named after the same or a team that has never gotten out of them. Damn it, I was going…even if I had to go alone…so I did…and then I didn’t.
Ring, ring….
The OAS: “Hola”. Tim: “Buddy…its Sanders”
The OAS: “Who?” Tim: “Your funny…its “closet a**-hole…you going to the game?”
The OAS: “Yep, on my way…in fact, I’m in OKC right now…you want to go?”
Tim: “Let me ask Mary Ann”
The OAS: “OK…talk to you tomorrow”.
A few minutes later: ring, ring…
The OAS: “Hello”. Tim: “Can you pick me up?”
The OAS: “Who is this?” Tim: “Still hilarious.”
The OAS: “Did you tell MA you were going with me?”
Tim: ‘Yes, so hurry before she changes her mind”
The OAS: “Its officially snowing in hell…or time just reverted back to the late 80’s…either way…I will be there in 10”
And I was…and it was…just like Delt Dive 85.
“Don’t bother tellin’ me what I got comin’ in the morning, I already know. I got some feel good pills and a red Gatorade by my bed, ready to go” - Blake Shelton
Tim Sanders is one of the most responsible people I know. He is a great family man…father, husband…yata, yata, yata. Tim is also one of the most fun and funniest people I know. I really like his wife, Mary Ann…she is awesome. She is also a very loyal reader of my blog, or at least use to be…which may explain why Tim doesn’t get to come out and play more with The OAS (that and he enjoys going to the games with his son Craig, which is certainly understandable). It may also explain why Tim got the following text message from an obviously nervous Mary Ann less than an hour after we had pulled away from his house:
”Remember to be a good sport no matter what happens. You never know who could be sitting behind you. You are a great example for our children. Make good choices."
Sounded like MA might already be questioning just how good her choice was.
WOW. I don’t think I have ever had one of my friends get a verbal warning in printed form before. Usually they just won’t let their husband go anywhere with me…or they give stern warnings before departure. But this…this was ground breaking type intervention.
I think Tim and I laughed for the next 20 miles…not at you MA…just at everything.
I really don’t understand why MA was so concerned. Tim Sanders..&...Buddy Putty…Just a couple of nice guys headed off to Stillwater to watch a rivalry game and practice good sportsmanship….OK…maybe I do get it.
I am not sure of when the last time Sanders and I road tripped…maybe College Station in 2000…but I know it has been years. I am also not sure the last time I have laughed this hard and had this much fun at an OU game…but it might also have been years.
I ran into people I have not seen in years…we verbally messed with people I haven’t seen the likes of in years…and witnessed one of the best football games I have seen in years…I just hope MA doesn’t run into the people that sat behind us…for years.
Part II to follow: Rivalry, Ridicule & Role Models
(Editor’s note…special thanks to the following:
Callie Remschner, for your effort to come find us and say hello, it was great to see you and catch up.
“Coach” Smallwood…Gary, it was so cool to see you again and catch up/re-live some great memories. Thanks for believing in this QB back in the day!
Mark & Ty Smallwood…thanks for including Tim and I in the pre-game tailgate…appreciate it)
Just The Opinion Of One Mildly Interested Guy
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
Buddy Putty
