Ever notice how college football coaches never answer a question without using a cliche or generic coach-speak these days? I have. I'm curious, when did the health of a running back or the name of a starting quarterback become a matter of national security? Politicians could learn a thing or two from listening to some of these coaches. In fact, after listening to one particular head coach address the media and answer questions...I felt pretty certain that I now know less about his team than I did before he started. One coach even refused to discuss who he thought his punter would be. Instead he offered that it was still a tight competition and that he felt no pressure to name a starter at this time. I had a hard time deciding which was worse, the fact that he wouldn't answer, or that someone cared enough to ask. I don't really even like kickers, do you?
One thing I've noticed is that almost all coaches like to have something to 'go back to' in the off-season. Basics are probably the most popular choice. You can be sure that any team that was bad the previous year has spent a lot of time getting 'back to basics.' Other frequently mentioned 'go back to' subjects include the fundamentals, the X's & O's and the ever popular, 'back to what made us successful in the past.' Seems to me they should've never left that one to begin with. Wouldn't you agree?
I've also noticed that 'going back to' can sometimes require a board of some type. Some coaches will tell you they 'went back to the drawing board,' while others prefer 'going back to the chalk board because that wasn't the way we drew it up.' Another oldy but goody is game film. All coaches want to 'go back and look at the film, find their mistakes and fix them.' Makes me wonder why they didn't do that during the season last year? Maybe the film projector was broken. They should get that fixed if that was the case.
One thing I was surprised to learn was how much geometry was involved in coaching. If you can't talk in circles, I don't think you are allowed to coach. "We need to circle the wagons and figure some things out," "the problem is we have been running around in circles," "it always seems to circle back to one thing, taking care of the football," "`". Then there is my favorite, the task of 'circling a date on your calendar.' This is when you pick out one of the teams that kicked your ass the previous year and make a big deal about it by circling the date that you play them this year. I found it interesting that you can only pick one date to circle. I'm not really sure why that is, are you? Maybe they don't want the really bad teams having a messy looking calendar. What do you think?
And what does it mean to give 110% anyway? I had no idea that the maximum amount of effort one could give was subject to inflation, did you? Coaches want everything you've got, all you got and all you have to give. They want your maximum effort, your 2nd and 3rd effort, then any extra effort you might still be hiding somewhere. You have to play till the whistle blows; the full 60 minutes, then when the game is over...you need to make sure you left it all out there on the field. That paragraph made me tired just writing it.
I'm puzzled by what level is needed for a coach to be happy. They always want someone to step it up, take the next step, take it to the next level, to elevate their game. Coaches can also be really confusing at times, wouldn't you agree? They want you to play smart, but you need to quit thinking and just react. They want you to learn from your mistakes, but it is important to have a short memory. You need to play with reckless abandon, but you can't be out of control. I think sometimes you have to be a little bit schizophrenic to be a good football player. Have we already talked about this?
If you're like me, then you've probably noticed that head coaches are an aggressive bunch. Everything is a battle, a war, a fight. The game is played in the trenches, on a battle field or in a hostile environment. This makes me sad. This is supposed to be college football. Let's keep the violence where it belongs...in kid's video games like Call of Duty: Modern Warfare.
New head coaches are the most curious to me...they have a lot to do. First, they have to change some things. Got to change the culture, the attitude, the mindset, the way things are done and the way that we'll go about our business. If there is a new head coach, then there is a lot to learn. Players are going to be learning how to win, new terminology, a new system, all of which is being taken in by their new mind set. Is it any wonder that a new coach will tell you that his team is still trying to find itself, or is trying to figure out who they are? They need to find a therapist if you ask me.
Lastly, no coach-speak cliche summary would be complete without pointing out the importance of taking it one day at a time, one game at a time. All injuries are day to day...and all evaluations are made by sitting down at the end of the day. Coaches want you to bring your A game every day, be consistent day in and day out...but don't get too excited about one game...because it is a long season. I've just about had enough of this preseason coach talk haven't you? We won't have to hear the same ole worn out lines once the season starts...right?
Hello, everybody, this is Brent Musburger with my pardner, Kirk Herbstriet." "Folks, let me tell ya, we got a dandy for you tonight." "Let's go down and check in on the sidelines with my good friend Jack Arute"
Just the opinion of one mildly interested guy
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
Buddy Putty
