Oklahoma vs. Texas 2021 - Part I - The Pre-Game

#6 OKLAHOMA 55  #21 TEXAS 48

   Saturday, October 9^th, 2021
The Cotton Bowl @ Fair Park - Dallas, TX

It was excruciating and it was exciting. It was frustrating and it was fascinating. It was miserable and it was awesome. It was a 4-hour pigskin rollercoaster ride of ups and downs and twists and turns that had the 92,100 people in attendance alternating between begging to be let off and lobbying to go again.  

It was Oklahoma and it was Texas … It was Red River … And it was the worst/best one ever.

PART 1 – THE PRE-GAME

8:00 AM: Departure. Kate and Terry were in the car with seat belts buckled right on time for the predetermined 8:00 AM departure. I have always found that it’s a better start to the day when I’m not forced to leave someone who isn’t ready to go. Don’t laugh, it’s happened.

The lovely Kate Core and me 
b4 game

8:20 AM: Parking. The large, talkative lady with an orange flag who waved me into my preferred parking lot also offered me some advice. “The man inside who is directing the parking will take you’re $30, but be patient, he doesn’t speak much English.” Turns out that if you have the ability to hold cash and utter the word “closer” over and over – you too can park cars on game day.

8:30 AM. Security. I hate to brag, but history shows that when it comes to smuggling my flask of Crown into Fair Park, I’m undefeated. But that said, I also know that there is always a chance that one year I’m going to run into State Fair Sipowicz.  He’s the guy who flunked the TSA Airport Security Test, so instead of living his dream of requiring people to place their shoes in the plastic bin, he’s trying to make a name for himself by being a hard-ass at Gate 3. This was not that year.

Not only did security not check people for alcohol or weapons –  hell, they didn’t even check to see if you had a ticket.  

8:35 AM: Inside the Gates. I’ve been going to this game since 1982 and usually when I arrive at Fair Park the only people already there are Blake and Sally Moffett, 3-dentally challenged carny’s, a fat lady with a bad attitude selling coupons inside a hut, and Big Tex.  This year when I arrived at 8:35, I felt like I was late. Fans of both teams came early and stayed late – and were loud at all times in between.  Impressive.

Annual Photo with Sally Moffett

8:50 AM: The Picnic Tables. I was a little miffed when I walked up and saw that the GameDay set had been placed in close proximity to where our group meets. To start with, I was not consulted on this decision … and as the self-appointed Pre-Game Poohbah of the Picnic Tables I found that to be disrespectful at best. In addition to me having to talk louder in order to share my wisdom, the extra people congregating in the area also required all of us to stand a little closer to the beer stand than we have in the past … hey, we are an adaptable bunch if nothing else.

10:25: The Fan Version of the Tunnel. Slowly making my way through the multitude of fans and then shuffling up the main gate steps one at a time to enter the stadium is just one of the numerous experiences provided by this neutral site game that I always enjoy. (Sorry, I tried to make that last sentence longer, but my fingers cramped).

As is usually the norm, once near the top I like to impose on someone I don’t know to stop what they’re doing in order to take my picture. The task I’ve assigned this stranger also comes with an insult in the form of specific directions, “Hey, even though I’m never going to look at this picture again … would you mind taking one photo vertical and then another one horizontal … oh, and also … would you please make sure to include the sea of crimson and burnt orange masses of other people I don’t know in the background.” Thank you Captain Obvious.   

10:45 AM: Best. Seats. Ever. My seats this year were on the

Thank you Bill Medley (right)
for the seats

50-yard line and in the shade. The only way the seats could've been any better would be if they substituted the metal bench with a recliner and someone brought me a Fletcher’s Corny Dog every 30 minutes. 

11:01 AM: Texas 7 – Oklahoma 0. I can’t be positive, but I think the Longhorns might have scored so fast that Maverick and Goose were still doing the post National Anthem fly-over.  The first play from scrimmage also brought with it the first F-bomb of the day. From the look on the face of the mom sitting 3-kids down to my left … she wasn’t thinking Best. Seats. Ever.

The versatile four letter word, which in this instance I used as a transitive verb, was uttered a mere 8-seconds into the game, which is a new OU-TX game record for me. The early expletive shattered my previous mark of 3-minutes and 42 seconds which occurred back in 2014 when I fumbled a stadium cup full of crown and ice down the back of the blue-hair sitting in the row in front of me. She couldn't have agree more with my assessment.

 11:05 AM: Speaking of Crown …. Next Up: PART II

What a 'Croc

 "The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits”– Albert Einstein

 Croc’ of Shit

The only thing more embarrassing than the way Mullen’s team played in the 2020 Goodyear Cotton Bowl game, was the way Mullen ran his mouth after it.  Like all of us, Dan has the right to remain silent … he just evidently doesn’t have the ability.

“The last game this 2020 team played was 11 days ago.” – Dan Mullen

 Well, Dan, if that’s the case … I’d hate to be a Gator fan, because your 2021 team sucks.

Someone should explain to this moron that every time his team takes the field, they represent both him and the University of Florida. Spewing that kind of garbage is what losers and quitters do – then again, what else would you expect from someone who shows up at a press-conference wearing a Darth Vader costume.

Oh, and by-the way, if your last game was 11-days prior to this one then I’m sure you won’t mind giving back the $2.43 million that the fine people at Goodyear paid to the University of Florida for your team to ‘not play’ in this game. 

The irony of Mullen’s pathetic quote is that the last game he wants us to remember his 2020 team by was one in which his Gators gave up 52 points and 600 yards to Alabama … which is only slightly less embarrassing than when his team shit the bed as a 22-point favorite at home against LSU the week before.

“With the number of people that were out for the game, we were under numbers actually. I mean, to be honest with you, we had the numbers to not play the game.”– Dan Mullen

But you did play Dan, so what’s your point?  Besides, Darth … you had 60-scholarship players available for the game, which turns out to be 3-more than the 57 that Oklahoma had available. (Thank you Styx for that little nugget)

Bottom line … if you didn’t have enough players then you had the option to opt-out like a half-dozen of your now former Gators did … but you didn’t. You decided to play the game – and the fact is, you didn’t have your team prepared. 

        “I thought our scout team guys played well.” – Dan Mullen

Dan … if this coaching thing doesn’t work out, there is a future for you in motivational speaking as I’m sure that all the players who were actually committed enough to play in the game loved hearing their head coach refer to them as scout team players.

Wow … Four days earlier you told us that that Heisman finalist Kyle Trask was one of the best Gator quarterbacks ever – now he’s a scout teamer.

 If the 57-scholarship players you had available were nothing more than scout team fodder, then that doesn’t say a whole hell of a lot about your ability to recruit.

And Finally … A Lesson in Karma 

“Oklahoma is a good matchup, but they’re not on our level.  They’re not SEC, they’re not the Florida Gators.” – Florida LB James Houston

Ironically, neither is James Houston.  That’s because the mouthy, red-shirt senior with an extra year of NCAA granted eligibility, entered the transfer portal yesterday. Guess he’s not up to Florida’s level either.