"On an administrative note…The OAS updates will be sent out weekly to those I have on the e-mail distribution list (if you know of anyone that would like to be added to that list, please let me know). The OAS can also be found now on Facebook via my personal page (Buddy Putty) https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/buddyputty or
The Overweight Armchair Sooner fan page...(please become a fan)
https://www.facebook.com/home.php#!/pages/The-Overweight-Armchair-Sooner/158642207491526
So before I move on to the Florida State game recap…are there any questions?”
Reporter: “Would you please discuss your controversial off-season transfer to Fort Worth”
The OAS: “Sure. Yes, as some of you may know, I moved to Fort Worth last March. A younger fraternity brother of mine, Brian “Styx” Sanders, has a large house on the west side of Fort Worth. Early in the year, he and his girlfriend decided that they had used up their eligibility... so she left the program. When she left, she took two sconces, the hand towels from the powder room and a large portion of “their” furniture with her. I was looking to move to Fort Worth…and…since I had a couch, a lamp and an eight piece place setting that came with me…it seemed to make sense for both of us. No controversy”
Reporter: “Rumor is that there is another bachelor roommate, is that true?”
The OAS: Yes, there are three of us…but due to some unresolved legal matters concerning my other roommates previous living situation…I am not at liberty to give out his name at this time. Until he has been declared “eligible to play” by the powers that be…I will have no further comment.”
Reporter: “When you say the powers that be… are you referring to the NCAA?
The OAS: “No, the TCDC…Tarrant County Divorce Court”
Reporter: “What do you say to the people out there who are on the record as saying you are too old to be living in a bachelor pad/frat house type environment?”
The OAS: “I say…Mom, you worry too much.”
Reporter: "There are reports that there was an investigation into your current living situation by the Riverhollow Home Owners Association. I have sources who say that the inquiry uncovered a multitude of rules violations in regards to conduct by people your age. Infractions such as dairy products sixty days past expiration in the refrigerator; a wet bar where a half empty bottle of Jeremiah Weed was found…and a hot tub in such demand that a sign-up sheet and rules of etiquette had to be posted. The report goes on to state that over the last few months there has been numerous impromptu parties, several of which are said to have included catered food, hip hop music and a fully stocked bar. Weekends not involving parties were said to have been spent on area lakes with bikini clad woman under the age of thirty. These young ladies, some of whom sported tattoos, were encouraged to drink beer and Boones Farm wine. Again… hip hop music was said to be present.”
The OAS: “Is there a question in there somewhere?”
Reporter: “Are these reports accurate?”
The OAS: “There are no posted rules at the house involving the hot tub…or anything else for that matter…you can’t post what you don’t have…but outside of that, your information in pretty much dead on. Can we talk about the game now?”
- Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
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