The Overweight Armchair Sooner: OU-TX - Part 2

The Texas State Fair - 2020

The Corona Virus has turned The Texas State Fair, the unique and iconic setting in which the OU-TX game has been played since 1932, into something more reminiscent of an In & Out Burger Drive-Thru.

Due to obvious reasons, The State Fair of Texas was cancelled this year - well sorta. For the first time since WWII, there would be no rides to ride, no music to hear, no midway in which to be conned, and no paying 14-coupons to see the world’s smallest horse or a bearded lady. To paraphrase John Candy’s line in the movie Vacation … “Sorry folks ... the Park's closed – the big cowboy near the entrance should’ve told you.”

Except ... for the drive-thru. That's right, for those of you who need a Fletcher’s fix and some quality time with Big Tex, the people at the State Fair have a deal for you. It's called the Fair & Photo package - and all that is required for this forced family fun is $100.00 and four to six hours of your life that you'll never get back.

Your allowed to drive one vehicle with up to 8-occupants into to the fairgrounds ... which is convenient since you've really never mastered the art of driving two. This ‘historic opportunity,’ as billed by Fair promotors (i.e. someone who would never submit themselves or their family to this life drain), includes a ‘complimentary’ corndog (1-per person), fries, a drink and a group photo with Big Tex. If you’d prefer dining on a turkey-leg while traveling @ 4-miles per hour during the estimated 2 ½ to 3-hour “tour” of Fair Park (which does not include time spent in line to enter park) – they can make that happen for an addition $25.00 ... each. Jeez, when did turkey legs turn into caviar?

Well, that sounds like a great time and all, but I think I'll pass. First of all, I'm not the Waltons or the Bradys. I'm a single guy with a red heeler, so a Ben Franklin to sit in traffic seems steep. Besides, binge eating and drinking inside a moving motor vehicle isn't my idea of the State Fair ... It's my idea of college, except it was done at 85 mph not 4. Most importantly, I prefer throwing up in Fair Park Fountains on the way back to where I think I parked my car - not in the passenger seat floor board, while it's hopefully in park. A sentiment equally shared by those trying to take away my keys.