Frankly, I hate math. Always have, always will. In my opinion, math is arrogant, a little too full of itself. “You couldn’t survive without math,” Mrs. Ashmead told me in fifth grade. “Maybe, maybe not,” I countered. “But I’m pretty sure that if I make another C, math could very well be the reason my dad kills me.”
Another reason I don’t like math is because of all the rules associated with performing it. You have to carry the one, you have to find a common denominator, you can’t cheat off of Julie Fodge. Well, this may come as a shock to some of you, but turns out, I’m not much of a rule follower. To me, rules are more like strongly advised suggestions. Look, I realize that wearing a seat belt is in my best interest and that not doing so is against the law. But that said, there are times that I refused to buckle up until that f-ing bell stops chiming (takes about 5-min btw and other people in the car love it). So, if I’m willing to chance being thrown through my windshield because I won’t be told what to do by an annoying noise, then it should come as no surprise that I struggle with following ‘the order of operations’ necessary to solve a math equation. Hell, even when by some miracle I did come up with the correct answer, I would get penalized for not ‘showing my work.’ Guess I should’ve written, “See Julie’s Paper” under my answer to each question. F-you math.
Math also likes to taunt me. Like when I hear someone say, “Last Saturday, I ran in the annual “I Exercise While You Eat Donuts 5K.” Okay, let’s pretend for a second that I actually care … Am I supposed to know what or how far a K is? If I was bragging about how many donuts I ate, I wouldn’t say, “Yep, while you were out acquiring shin-splints on your way to finishing 377th in your age group, I was on the couch knockin’ down 800 kg’s of jelly filled and 138 picograms of apple fritter.” For the record, I’m more easily impressed with an accomplishment when I don’t have to use a conversion chart to understand it. Just sayin’.
Speaking of letters … Why are there letters and symbols involved in math? Who thought this was a good idea, U2? When I learned to count to ten, I didn’t use my fingers and toes to recite 1, 2, R=3, 4, (5-X), -6, X7, 8, (9), /10.
But as much as I hate math, there is no getting around the fact that the 2022 Oklahoma Sooners team will be judged by all the additions and subtractions the program has experienced since last November. With change comes the unknown, and that unknown has leant an air of excitement and interest to the upcoming season that is unmatched by any in recent memory. But the unknown can also be tricky, fickle, and hard to embrace – especially if it doesn’t produce immediate results.
On Saturday, the Sooners will take the field against UTEP. It will mark the end of one of the most emotional 9-month periods in program history, while simultaneously signaling the beginning of a new era. With a new head coach on the sideline and a new QB taking the snap – ‘the order of operations’ necessary to solve the looming equation will begin. Every Saturday, the Sooners will get a little closer to finding the answer. There will be rules to follow, and of course they’ll be required to show their work – usually to about 80,000 +.
Oh, one last thing – don't expect any help from Julie Fodge … turns out she is an Oklahoma State fan.
FINALLY ... It's Football Time in Oklahoma
Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Fan
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
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