CRIMSON AND CREAM VIEW OF THINGS
Season 5, Issue 2
“It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled…Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back, let me get it back, baby, where I come from…It’s been a long time, been a long time, been a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time…yes it has.” –Led Zeppelin
I would like to think that we all have something in our lives that moves us; an endeavor that we are fervent about. For me that something is Oklahoma Sooners football…but before I talk about why…let me point out why just a few others are not.
Thanks, but no thanks…
Reality TV. No thank you. My own life is a reality television series with more unexpected twists, turns and drama than any producer could possible conjure up…and I don’t have to even TiVo ahead to skip the commercials. Plus…I was very disappointed when I decided to watch an episode of ‘Wife Swap’. Let’s just say that it had a completely different premise than I was hoping.
Outdoor Adventure. Hiking? I really don’t see this happening. The fact that I have actually considered driving as an option when going to get the newspaper at the end of the driveway…leads me to believe that walking uphill while carrying a bunch of shit on my back is not going to ‘fan my emotional flames’. Besides, hiking usually leads to camping. I don’t think so here either. My idea of roughing it is a black and white TV at a Holiday Inn…so sleeping without central heat or air, crapping from a crouch over a log or cooking over a fire without my non-stick cookware…doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.
I thought about fishing…The sport has some positive qualities. There is no exercise involved and you can drink while you do it…but in the name of full disclosure, I have to be honest about something: Fish creep me out. Fish are all cold and slimy and have those dark, ugly, spooky eyes. The bottom line is that the only time I will touch a fish is when it is lying next to a baked potato...so unless Bill Dance is willing to come along and unhook every perch I catch, I don’t see fishing happening too often for me.
My brother-in-law is a big time, big game hunter. He has offered to take me some place north of Canada too hunt black bear. First of all, I didn’t even know there was a ‘north of Canada’…but that is of secondary concern. Bear? Really? I know Marlon Perkins makes it look easy on Wild Kingdom and all, but hunting bear seems like a lot of pressure. The last time I went hunting I was 9, so I’m thinking maybe I should start out with something a little less ‘Wide World of Sports’…like say…a squirrel or the neighbor’s cat…and not something that is going to eat me if I miss. Besides, my past experience with hunting is that it requires you to get up early, sit out in the cold, and wear camouflage…no, no and no.
Talk about passion and obsessions?...If my brother in law is any indication, then it would seem that hunters are equally as obsessed with their hobby as I am mine…only their obsession includes a loaded firearm. Is that really a good idea for me?
There is just a little something missing…
Like talent…I love to play the guitar, but it seems others are less enthusiastic when it comes to listening. The common opinion is that I suck. When I recently asked my guitar instructor to rate my progress…he advised me to take a couple weeks off…then quit all together.
Like dedication…For years now I have pledged to learn more conversational Spanish. This years excuse….Swine Flu.
Like children: I noticed that all my friends seem to enjoy being involved with the sports that their children play. Some of my friends coach, some just scream at the coach, but they all mention how much they love it. So, even though I have no children of my own, I decided to call the local youth league and volunteer to help coach a youth league team. Well, as it turns out, some parents find it strange and somewhat disconcerting when a 43 year old single male with no children of his own…shows up wanting to coach young boys. You would have thought I was Michael Jackson or a Catholic Priest with a whistle. I have been called a lot of things before, some of them were probably accurate and even deserved…but I have to draw a line here…sucks too…I bought all these new polyester coaching shorts and didn’t even get to scream at a kid.
To much of a bad thing….
I love to cook…so I have been doing more of that lately. Problem here is that my culinary point of view seems to involve a lot of butter and bacon. Red wine has always been a passion of mine…so I have been trying to slowly rebuild what was once a respectable collection…which is good, because slowly is definitely the way it is going. I continue to keep violating the basic fundamental rule of collecting, which is keeping more wine than you drink.
I have also grown an affinity for good cigars. I joined a Cigar Club and really like going there in the afternoon for a cigar and a cocktail or two. I realize cigar smoking is not the healthiest addition, but hey, what’s one more vice at this point? I can hear my make-believe therapist now: “What…over-weight and drunk wasn’t enough, so you decided to add shortness of breath to the mix?” Bitch
Moderation: to lessen the intensity or extremeness of….
This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I am not a big fan of moderation. Hate it actually. To me moderation is like a colonoscopy…a big giant pain in the ass that unfortunately becomes more and more necessary with age.
Yesterday, I orchestrated a make-believe Freud session to poke a little fun at myself. I am a passionate person. I know I am a little over the top at times. I am either all in or could absolutely care less. A bit manic I realize, but it is what it is. That passion has been both friend and foe to me in life….opening many doors of opportunity…slamming shut some others. Not much moderation going on here.
When you are emotionally all in, you open yourself up for disappointment, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Taking risk is what makes the reward so sweet.
So as a passionate fan who was all in…watching the Sooners come up short against Florida was a disappointment, a little depressing. But would you rather be a Baylor fan and not ever worry about disappointment, or have a shot at glory knowing that falling short has its consequences? That one is easy for me....I will buy a new lamp every time.
But for me, the reality is this…I was going to be depressed either way. While a Sooner victory and National Championship would have been wonderful, it would not change the fact that the next day the college football season would still be over.
In my life, OU football cannot be reduced to a mere game… no doubt I am passionate about what happens between the lines, but I am even more passionate about what happens outside of them. Sooner football is where new friends are made and more importantly my oldest friendships are renewed. It is where I get a chance to watch my friends children grow up…while at the same time watching my friends spend the day pretending like they haven’t. Sooner football games have been the backdrop for some of my greatest memories, emotional highs and lows, and the stage for which some of the craziest things in my life have happened. It will no doubt be the stage for which new favorite memories will be born. Sooner football is about life….my life anyway, and to me that is something worth being a little over the top for. I am trying to justify an obsession? Rose colored glasses? No…mine are crimson & cream.
Yes, it’s been a long time since I rock and rolled…time to get it back…its been a lonely, lonely, lonely time…yes it has. Put away your moderation…it time to rock and roll
Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Guy
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
DEFEAT, DESPAIR & OFF-SEASON REPAIRS
Season 5, Issue 1 (8/24/2009)
“Just when every ray of hope was gone...I should have known that you would come along…I can’t believe I ever doubted you…my old friend the Blues.” –Steve Earle
January 8th, 2009
Florida Gators 24 Oklahoma Sooners 14
January 9th, 2009
Therapist: “I see your back for your annual January counseling session?”
The Overweight Armchair Sooner (The OAS): “That is not funny. This is serious, I am very depressed.”
Therapist: “Your right, it’s not funny. The fact that you continue to let yourself get so emotionally invested in a game played by mere kids, is not only unhealthy, it is sad.”
The OAS: “Wow, gloves are off early Doc. I was hoping you might be a little more supportive.”
Therapist: “Offering support has not seemed to work with you. You are supposed to be an adult. Instead you are like the Benjamin Buttons of football fans, the older you get the younger you act. Your emotional well being and the physical well being of those around you should not be contingent on things like whether or not a 5’1” 145 lbs., nineteen year old kid can kick a ball through iron posts.”
The OAS: “Stupid kickers.”
Therapist: “And that is another thing…most humans with their priorities in tact would not call these kids names. Why can’t you support your team in a positive manner…making physical threats of violence against a student athlete and/or his mother is a bit excessive don’t you feel?”
The OAS: “But we…”
Therapist: “We? Do you play on the team now? Look, it is one thing to be disappointed when the team you “support” loses…but quite another when it results in a two day hangover, hand written apologies, and a trip to Home Depot.”
The OAS: “I didn’t like that lamp anyway, besides I was so tired of hearing about the ‘perfect’ Tim Tebow. Tebow this, Tebow that, visits orphans, jumps tall buildings, helps old ladies cross the street. Sickening. Did you know he has publicly stated that he is a virgin? What? Are you kidding? Here’s a thought Timmy; why don’t you take a TV time-out from your gig as an African orphanage candy striper…and go get yourself laid? The kids will still be hungry tomorrow. Hell, if it will help your conscious, I will even mail a buck in your name to Sally Struthers so she can fill in for you. What good does it do you to have a Heisman trophy, if you are not going to use it to get laid? Clearly he has to be gay or have some fetish for farm animals”…I’m just sayin’.
Therapist: “….that is wrong on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start…other than by saying, you’re a moron. So let me get this straight, any person that has values and morals is a loser and either gay or a goat lover?”
The OAS: “I was thinking more sheep, but OK.”
Therapist: “Well, that gay, goat loving virgin sure kicked your ass last night, didn’t he?”
The OAS: “Am I really paying for this?”
Therapist: It’s time to grow up, Buddy. Nobody thinks it’s funny anymore.
You need a hobby, some other interests, some balance. Spend the off-season growing as a person…then come back and see me.
The OAS: OK Doc, I’ll try. Any thoughts on how I should get started?
Therapist: Yes…by writing me a check for $125.
...Next: Offseason Hobby Hunting with The OAS
Boomer,
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
If you would like to e-mail this to someone, click on the envelope link below
Season 5, Issue 1 (8/24/2009)
“Just when every ray of hope was gone...I should have known that you would come along…I can’t believe I ever doubted you…my old friend the Blues.” –Steve Earle
January 8th, 2009
Florida Gators 24 Oklahoma Sooners 14
January 9th, 2009
Therapist: “I see your back for your annual January counseling session?”
The Overweight Armchair Sooner (The OAS): “That is not funny. This is serious, I am very depressed.”
Therapist: “Your right, it’s not funny. The fact that you continue to let yourself get so emotionally invested in a game played by mere kids, is not only unhealthy, it is sad.”
The OAS: “Wow, gloves are off early Doc. I was hoping you might be a little more supportive.”
Therapist: “Offering support has not seemed to work with you. You are supposed to be an adult. Instead you are like the Benjamin Buttons of football fans, the older you get the younger you act. Your emotional well being and the physical well being of those around you should not be contingent on things like whether or not a 5’1” 145 lbs., nineteen year old kid can kick a ball through iron posts.”
The OAS: “Stupid kickers.”
Therapist: “And that is another thing…most humans with their priorities in tact would not call these kids names. Why can’t you support your team in a positive manner…making physical threats of violence against a student athlete and/or his mother is a bit excessive don’t you feel?”
The OAS: “But we…”
Therapist: “We? Do you play on the team now? Look, it is one thing to be disappointed when the team you “support” loses…but quite another when it results in a two day hangover, hand written apologies, and a trip to Home Depot.”
The OAS: “I didn’t like that lamp anyway, besides I was so tired of hearing about the ‘perfect’ Tim Tebow. Tebow this, Tebow that, visits orphans, jumps tall buildings, helps old ladies cross the street. Sickening. Did you know he has publicly stated that he is a virgin? What? Are you kidding? Here’s a thought Timmy; why don’t you take a TV time-out from your gig as an African orphanage candy striper…and go get yourself laid? The kids will still be hungry tomorrow. Hell, if it will help your conscious, I will even mail a buck in your name to Sally Struthers so she can fill in for you. What good does it do you to have a Heisman trophy, if you are not going to use it to get laid? Clearly he has to be gay or have some fetish for farm animals”…I’m just sayin’.
Therapist: “….that is wrong on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start…other than by saying, you’re a moron. So let me get this straight, any person that has values and morals is a loser and either gay or a goat lover?”
The OAS: “I was thinking more sheep, but OK.”
Therapist: “Well, that gay, goat loving virgin sure kicked your ass last night, didn’t he?”
The OAS: “Am I really paying for this?”
Therapist: It’s time to grow up, Buddy. Nobody thinks it’s funny anymore.
You need a hobby, some other interests, some balance. Spend the off-season growing as a person…then come back and see me.
The OAS: OK Doc, I’ll try. Any thoughts on how I should get started?
Therapist: Yes…by writing me a check for $125.
...Next: Offseason Hobby Hunting with The OAS
Boomer,
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
If you would like to e-mail this to someone, click on the envelope link below
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
HELLO AGAIN
Season 5, Intro Edition
Welcome to season five of The Overweight Armchair Sooner. For anyone new to The OAS, this is nothing more than a personal blog or journal. Started in 2005 and distributed to all of 20 people, I figured it might last a week…now sites are offering me money to advertise on it. Crazy. Built around my passion (some would argue obsession) for Oklahoma Sooner football, this blog is an attempt to express my emotions and write about two things I love...OU football and me. Cheaper than therapy, this is a place where I can go and try to make myself (and hopefully others) laugh. Where I can rant and rave or maybe just get away from life for a while. Amazingly or sadly, depending on your outlook…my life seems to have no problem providing an endless supply of material from which to work with…and in the rare instance that the actual occurrence wasn’t enough… The OAS is not above a little embellishment.
For those who have been around for a while, thank you. Your support, feedback, criticism and accolades have made this one of the most rewarding and enlightening things I have ever done. Last year, real life got in the way and I stopped making time for this journal. That was a mistake. Making time for what makes us happy is an important part of life…at least for me anyway.
Yes, I am no doubt obsessed with OU football. Is the obsession over the top? Probably. I will poke some fun at that in Issue 1 tomorrow, but explain while I am not ashamed of it in Issue 2 the following day.
Thanks again to all. I look forward to seeing everyone in Dallas for the BYU game...looks like we have a chance to be really good again.
Boomer Sooner
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES
If you received this, then obviously you are on my email list. If you know of anyone that you think might like to receive The OAS, please forward me their email. If you have an alternate email you would rather I use, let me know….and also…in all seriousness…If you do not want to receive updates this year, for whatever the reason, I understand… please let me know, and I will remove you from the list.
I will also be posting a link on Facebook when new updates are ready…I also plan to start circulating a “Fan of the Overweight Armchair Sooner” link on Facebook as well…as soon as I figure out how. If you know of any other way for me to self-promote, I am always open. It’s all about me!
Season 5, Intro Edition
Welcome to season five of The Overweight Armchair Sooner. For anyone new to The OAS, this is nothing more than a personal blog or journal. Started in 2005 and distributed to all of 20 people, I figured it might last a week…now sites are offering me money to advertise on it. Crazy. Built around my passion (some would argue obsession) for Oklahoma Sooner football, this blog is an attempt to express my emotions and write about two things I love...OU football and me. Cheaper than therapy, this is a place where I can go and try to make myself (and hopefully others) laugh. Where I can rant and rave or maybe just get away from life for a while. Amazingly or sadly, depending on your outlook…my life seems to have no problem providing an endless supply of material from which to work with…and in the rare instance that the actual occurrence wasn’t enough… The OAS is not above a little embellishment.
For those who have been around for a while, thank you. Your support, feedback, criticism and accolades have made this one of the most rewarding and enlightening things I have ever done. Last year, real life got in the way and I stopped making time for this journal. That was a mistake. Making time for what makes us happy is an important part of life…at least for me anyway.
Yes, I am no doubt obsessed with OU football. Is the obsession over the top? Probably. I will poke some fun at that in Issue 1 tomorrow, but explain while I am not ashamed of it in Issue 2 the following day.
Thanks again to all. I look forward to seeing everyone in Dallas for the BYU game...looks like we have a chance to be really good again.
Boomer Sooner
Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner
ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES
If you received this, then obviously you are on my email list. If you know of anyone that you think might like to receive The OAS, please forward me their email. If you have an alternate email you would rather I use, let me know….and also…in all seriousness…If you do not want to receive updates this year, for whatever the reason, I understand… please let me know, and I will remove you from the list.
I will also be posting a link on Facebook when new updates are ready…I also plan to start circulating a “Fan of the Overweight Armchair Sooner” link on Facebook as well…as soon as I figure out how. If you know of any other way for me to self-promote, I am always open. It’s all about me!
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