THIS....IS SOONERS JEOPARDY

Bob Berry: "Welcome back to a special edition of Sooners Jeopardy!  Our spotlight today: Sooner Football in the 1990’s. Along with former OU assistant coach Merv Johnson, I'm your host, Bob Barry. Before we continue with our double jeopardy round…let’s take a minute and reacquaint ourselves with today's contestants."
"First…from Houston, TX…this former Sooner linebacker spent 14 years as an assistant under Barry Switzer before being named his replacement in 1989. In his six year tenure as head coach, the Sooners went 44-23-2, won two bowl games and didn’t have a single starting QB convicted of drug trafficking. With a first round total of $0…Please say hello to Robin or rather Barry, excuse me, I mean Gary Gibbs, there we go, ha-ha...."

Merv Johnson: "Wow, Bob…you were only one Gibb brother shy of getting the Bee Gees back together."

Gary Gibbs: "Does anyone remember that the program had just been put on probation when I was hired? I did what I was hired to do, but I can see that I still don’t get any respect around here."

Bob Berry: "Sounds like the coach is doing some Jive Talkin’ to me, what about you, Coach?"

Merv Johnson: "Good one, Bob. You really know your disco."

Bob Berry: "Our second contestant is a 76 year old native of Louisville, Kentucky. His tenure on the Sooners sideline lasted for only the 1995 season. Under his influence, the Sooners finished 5-5 on the field that year…Off the field…he finished 7&7’s leaving the former Sooner coach simply under the influence. His first round total of negative $20.20 has him in second place….bartenders please welcome back to Norman...Howard Schwarzkoff."

Merv Johnson: “Uh, Bob, I believe his name is Schnellenberger”

Bob Berry: "Oh, ha-ha… I believe your right, Merv…check that...please welcome…How…"

Howard Schnellenberger: "My name is Schnellenberger, Howard Schnellenberger…and someday, they will write books and make movies about my time here”

Gary Gibbs: “Movies? More like a bad sitcom pilot. Wow, did they really force me to resign so they could hire this inebriated version of Captain Kangaroo?”

Bob Barry: “Afraid so, Coach Joe Gibbs…check that…Gary Gibbs. Our final contestant played on the defensive line for the Sooners from 1979-1982. Named the Sooners head coach in 1996, he became the first African-American coach in school history…He is also believed to be the first OU head coach, regardless of ethnicity, to make sweat bands part of his game day wardrobe. Currently in last place with a total of -$10,000…say hello to Robert Blake” (Chants of boo)

Howard Schnellenberger: “Robert Blake? I thought Baretta was a white guy?”

Bob Berry: “Check that…John Blake…49/5-11/350/Non-Decipherable Communications Major out of San Springs Page High School…and no those aren’t boo’s you’re hearing Sooner fans. The people here are simply welcoming Coach Blake by using his nickname…which of course is…Boo”

Merv Johnson: “No Bob, I hate to say it, but I believe those are, in fact…real boo’s”

John Blake: “I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for it is through him, that all things are possible.”

Howard Schnellenberger: “all things except win a home game in 1996”

Bob Berry: OK, OK settle down guys…let’s take a look at the categories on the board for today’s Double Jeopardy Round. They are:

     POTENT POTABLES
     I’LL BE HOME FOR CHRISTMAS…Sooners Bowl History in the 1990’s
     100% COTTON…OU-TX games played in the decade of the 90’s
     HORRORS @ HOME…worst home game losses in the 1990’s
     CALE TO THE CHIEF…Sooner Quarterbacks in the 90’s…And finally…
     PETERS CHASE GOODE BEAVERS…OU Defensive Stars of the 90’s


Merv Johnson: “Bob, I believe Gary controls the board to start this round”

Bob Berry: “Who? Oh, right…almost forgot…Coach Gibbs…58/6-2/207 Criminal Rehab Major from Spring Branch High School in Houston, TX….Coach, if you would, please select a category”

Gary Gibbs: “I’ll take CALE TO THE CHIEF for $400 Bob”

Bob Berry: “This Sooner QB transferred to Louisville after the 1995 season, his only one in Norman. He completed his college career at UofL as the NCAA Division 1-A career leader in passing completions with 1,679 and attempts with 1,031….and his 12,541 rushing yards ranked him third all time.” (Response buzzer)…Coach Schwarzenegger:

Howard Schnellenberger: “Who is Tom Collins? (Incorrect Horn)

Merv Johnson: Howard, I believe that is a cocktail (Response buzzer) Coach Blake?

John Blake: “First, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for it is through him, that all things are possible.”…Who is Eric Moore? (Incorrect Horn)

Bob Berry: That is correct….check that (Response buzzer)

Gary Gibbs: Bob, first of all, you got the completion and attempts stats backwards…and…his 12,541 yards were passing yards, not rushing….that being said…the correct answer is Chris Redman. (Incorrect Horn)… What?

Merv Johnson: Coach Gibbs…I’m afraid it’s not your job to try and fix things around here anymore. And while, yes, Chris Redmond is the correct answer… your response was not phrased in the form of question, so the Sooner Nation is unable to give you the credit you think you deserve.”

Gary Gibbs: “why am I not shocked?”

Bob Berry: Just like we did after the 1994 season….lets move on to Coach Henry Schnellenberger…76/6-1/219…History & Traditions major from Flaget High School in Louisville, Kentucky. Coach, it’s your ball, first down on the 51st yard line…please select a category

Howard Schnellenberger: “I’ll take WHORE HOUSES for a round of drinks”

Bob Berry: “Uh, Merv, help me out here.”

Merv Johnson: “Bob, I believe he means HORRORS @ HOME for $200”

Bob Berry: “Oh, ha, ha…The Sooners had downed this opponent for 30 straight years before being upset at home on October 20, 1990 by a final of 33-31.” (Response buzz) Coach Schnatzenberger:

Howard Schnellenberger: Who is Jack Daniels? (Incorrect Horn)

Merv Johnson: Howard, I believe that is another cocktail…maybe you should give the POTENT POTABLES category a “shot” (Response buzz) Coach Blake:

John Blake: “First, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for it is through him, that all things are possible…..”

Bob Berry: And?

John Blake: Oh, that’s all I got. I just figured since the category was about home losses I should buzz in. (Incorrect Horn) (Response buzzer)

Bob Berry: Coach Gibson?

Gary Gibbs: Sadly, I remember that game all to well…Who is Iowa State?

Bob Berry: “30, 25, 20, 15, 10, 5…touchdown Sooners!”

Merv Johnson: “Uh, wait a minute Bob…There is a flag on the field…this one is going to be called back.

Gary Gibbs: “Why?”

Merv Johnson: “Because you were the coach when OU lost to Iowa State for the first time in 30 years…that kind of thing give you no credibility with the Sooner Nation”

Gary Gibbs: “This is ridiculous”

Bob Berry: “Coach Bliss, please select a category.”

John Blake: “The name is Blake. Bob, I’d like to pick COTTON…for $800” (Daily Double Bell)

Howard Schnellenberger: “did he just say he’s pickin’ cotton for $800?”

Merv Johnson: “Howard, be careful, that kind of behavior will not be tolerated”

Bob Berry: John has selected the category 100% COTTON…and that’s today’s Daily Deuce…John, since you have -$10,600, you can wager up to a $3000.

Merv Johnson: “Didn’t you mean double, Bob?”

Howard Schnellenberger: “make mine a double too”

Bob Berry: That’s what I said…Daily Double. (Response buzzer)

Howard Schnellenberger: “What is a Gin Martini?

Bob Berry: “I’m sorry Hubert, but on the Daily Double question, only the contestant choosing the category is eligible to answer. Again, the category 100% COTTON pertains to OU-TX games played in the 1990’s”

Gary Gibbs: “If this question involves Peter Gardere or one of those damn Cash brothers, I swear I am going to walk off this stage”

Howard Schnellenberger: “Will that “resignation” be effective immediately…or will you wait until after you lose another Copper Bowl by 25?”

Bob Berry: “Guys, guys…we’re all family here”…Coach Blair…how much are you risking?

John Blake: “My name is Blake, and I’ll wager my job, my reputation and my coveted Nike sweat bands”

Gary Gibbs: “what about all the money that the NFL sports agents are paying you under the table?”

Bob Berry: “So for absolutely nothing…Here is the answer….1996 was the first time the game between Oklahoma & Texas was settled in this manner.”

John Blake: “First, I would like to thank my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, for it is through him, that all… (Out of time buzzer)

Merv Johnson: “I’m sorry; the answer we were looking for was…What is overtime?”

John Blake: But I didn’t get a chance to finish what I started here!

Merv Johnson: John, you were never going to get it right. Hell, you had J.T. Thatcher at running back when the whole world knew he was a safety…and who was going to be your QB…Patrick Fletcher?”

(BUZZER)

Bob Berry: That sound means that it is time for today’s Sooner Final Jeopardy! Today’s Sooner Final Jeopardy! Category is brought to you by: The Oklahoma Ford Dealers Association. Stop in at your local Ford dealer today and ’Grab life by the Horns’…Ford Trucks: There’s tough, then there’s Ram Tough”…And by the good folks at Shelter Insurance…“Where spending 15 minutes in the good hands of a good neighbor, can save you 20% on car insurance.” Merv, tell the good people what we have today:

Merv Johnson: “Well, what we have today are probably two more sponsors than we’ll have tomorrow, now that you just completely mangled their slogans. But regardless….today’s Sooner Final Jeopardy! Category is: Tradition

Bob Berry: “The answer is…the decade OU fans are trying to forget”
Let’s take a look at what the coaches wrote down…Coach Gibbs…What was your answer?

Merv Johnson: Uh Bob, since the Sooners were on probation, Coach Gibbs is not eligible for post season play.

Coach Gibbs: You have got to be kidding me….that wasn’t even my fault! Why am I even here?

Bob Berry: Coach Saltalamacchia?

Howard Schnellenberger: Damn it old man, I am about to kick your ass if you don’t get my name right….”What is the prohibition era?”

Bob Berry: “No, I’m sorry…that is incorrect”….let’s see your wager…you put: “I bet that you can’t out drink my wife”…Well, isn’t that special...moving on to Coach Boo…lets see your answer Coach.

John Blake: “I don’t remember recruiting anyone name DeCade?”…

Bob Berry: "While that may be so, your answer is incorrect…and you wagered: that Bob Stoops will never last past three season.”

John Blake: Without my kids…you forgot that part!

Bob Berry: That’s all the time we have today…for Bob Berry, I am Merv Johnson…join us next time on…This is Sooners Jeopardy! when our contestants will be: Mike Leach, Mark Mangino & Jenny Craig.


Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Guy

The Overweight Armchair Sooner
Buddy Putty