UGLY NEVER LOOKED SO GOOD

WEEK 5 SPECIAL OU-TX EDITION RECAP

OKLAHOMA 28 TEXAS 20

“Show a little faith, there’s magic in the night…you ain’t a beauty, but hey you’re alright…Oh and that’s alright with me” - Thunder Road / Bruce Springsteen

The 2010 edition of the Red River Rivalry may have featured two equally matched teams playing at a neutral site in front of an evenly divided fan base...but there was nothing middle of the road about which team benefited most from the games key moments. Seemingly every bounce, every break, every penalty or crucial mistake went the Sooners way… but as is the trend in 2010…the Sooners and their fans found it a little to close for comfort at the end.

Yes, it was ugly…but you are not going to hear me complain. Believe me, I am thrilled that the Sooners are undefeated…and lets face it…any win over the Longhorns is a good win. Besides, I appreciate and understand the concept of “ugly with a happy ending”…hell, that was the fundamental basis of my dating strategy for a few years in the 90’s. That being said, it sure would be easier on my liver and the eardrums of those sitting around me, if the Sooners would put teams away when given the opportunity. OU had that chance again Saturday, but for the fourth time in five games, the Sooners chose to ugly it up before ultimately getting what they wanted. Ugly…Yes…but a win nonetheless…Oh, and that’s alright with me.

THE WEEKEND
This was one of the best OU-Texas weekends I have had in years.

Golf on Friday was great and not just because I birdied #18 to win the money. Thank you to David Matheson and Spesh for organizing the outing. Also, thank you to Evan & Kolczun for putting up with Spesh and me getting hammered and talking through your backswing the entire back nine. (Note to self: Your swing tends to get a little loose and quick after your 13th beer.)

I would like to say a special thank you to those that hosted parties on Thursday and Friday nights…I appreciate you including me. The opportunity to see everyone is what makes OU-Texas so special.

Also…last but not least…thank you to those who went with me to Adair’s Friday night/Saturday morning…The OAS may be getting old, but he still has a move or two left on the dance floor. Good time.

THE PRE-GAME
I can’t even begin to tell you how much more enjoyable the OU-Texas game day experience becomes when the game starts at 2:30 instead of 11:00 am.

The State Fair fried item of the year: Fried Beer. Seriously? Just stop. Not even The OAS has any interest in a deep fried Pabst Blue Ribbon. You want a new approach to beer? How about lowering the number of coupons I have to give the dentally challenged lady who hands them to me?

Great time before the game this year…I remained reasonably sober, offended few if any….and even ate my pork chop sandwich without getting any BBQ sauce on my game day shirt.

THE GAME

The Good….
Landry Jones. Except for one heart stopping, Crow Royal chugging, profanity spewing, people shielding their children from me moment…Landry was terrific. With the Horns defense doing all it could to shut down Broyles, Jones spread the ball around…completing passes to seven different receivers. His management of the no huddle offense gave the Sooners a 14 point lead they would never relinquish…and his throw to Kenny Stills for a touchdown was as good as it gets.

In my opinion, DeMarco Murray and his play making ability was the difference in the game. His 115 yards rushing included a spectacular, tight rope walking, somersaulting TD run that will be an OU-TX highlight for years.

Freshman getting playing time in an OU-TX game…DB Colvin, WR Stills, FB Millard, DB Jefferson, DT Noble, RF LB Wort…I cant remember a time that so many freshman or red-shirt freshman were not only getting in the game, but doing so at critical times…then playing well when they do. It makes for an exciting future IMO

The defense was much better…the Longhorns didn’t take a snap in Sooner territory until mid-third quarter….but why they let up with a big lead is a troubling trend.

The Bad…
Making concessions:
The ice from the concession stands was nasty…it looked like a sand box at the bottom of all my drinks. I finally just had to start re-filling before it got to low to keep from getting grossed out.

And speaking of concessions: This could only happen to The OAS

Thankfully I have matured enough to have avoided a potentially ugly scene at the concession stand during half-time. A lady in a Texas shirt, who was old enough to be Abraham Lincoln’s wife…shuffled her little shriveled self past about 30 people to the front of the concession stand line. Being the patient type that I am, I just took a deep breath and resumed staring at the extremely hot UT girl dressed in a broom skirt and cowboy hat to my left.

The guy behind me clearly did not share the same respect for elders that I do…because he basically told her to move her blue-haired ass to the back of the line. Mrs. Lincoln, shockingly, turns out to be a little hard of hearing. The guy behind me, who safe to say is not a fan of the Golden Girls, reiterates his suggestion in a manner that would not go unheard…nor would it go ignored.

Mrs. Lincoln also turns out to be rather feisty…which is unfortunate since she was also very quick to wrongly accuse. Sounding like Katherine Hepburn in ‘On Golden Pond’…Mrs. L starts pointing and screaming obscenities at me like I am John Wilkes Booth.

Instantly…the anti-AARP guy behind me decides he doesn’t need anymore un-washed ice or verbal abuse from the Civil War era…and bolts. The hot Texas chick I had been mentally planning my future with…is now starring at me like she had just watched me slap Betsy Ross.

Abe’s wife has now made her way over into my personal space so she can point out what a rude, disrespectful young whippersnapper I am. I guess she felt the situation required more than just a reprimand…because Driving Miss Daisy is also poking me in the chest with her stage three arthritic index finger.

Luckily for both of us, I have been taking my medication and was still two large souvenir cups of Crown Royal away from my intended destination. So instead of congratulating her on surviving the Titanic or inquiring as to whether or not honest Abe was any good in bed… I just stated laughing…she didn’t.

About the time I started to think there was a real chance that I was going to get my ass kicked by the “Where’s the Beef Lady”, a Texas fan from one line over stepped in. He explained to the former first lady that I was not the one who had called her out…at which she replied…”doesn’t matter, all you Oklahoma assholes are the same”…Good one Mary Todd Lincoln…good one.

The Just plain ugly
“That’s what you want…To be criticized for winning. That’s Oklahoma football.”-Bob Stoops

OK, the field goal kicking thing is not funny anymore….and neither is the lengths in which Stoops will go to avoid even trying one.
Bob…we need to talk. I know you have a history with this kind of stuff. I was there at Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa, Alabama in 2003. OU was only up three on the Tide with about 5 minutes to go in the 3 quarter when you faked a punt on 4th and 10 from your own 15 yard line. I sat stunned as I watched Jeff Ferguson shot-put the ball to DB Michael Thompson. I remember Thompson juggling it like it was radioactive for about 10 yards before securing the ball…and a first down…but this?

After a delay of game penalty (which we won’t even get into) moved the ball back to the Horns 30, your options were as followed:

A. Attempt a 47 yard field goal. An option you took less time to dismiss than Jazz Reynolds…
B. Punt…which doesn’t make much sense when your on your opponents 30
C. Go for it. Worse case scenario being that the Horns get the ball at their own 30…or
D. Have some kid who is named after a lost animated fish attempt to throw it to a kicker.

Seriously, Bob… D? I know that the holder, John Nimmo, is listed in the program as a QB...but he is a QB that hasn’t thrown a pass in a game since well before his high school senior prom. Is the OU/TX game the right time for his coming out party? And if it is…do you really want him to throw it to O’Hara?

You don’t have confidence in O’Hara to be successful at something he actually practices all the time…is it really a good idea to expand his responsibilities to involve things he doesn’t?


Just the opinion of one mildly interested guy


The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Buddy Putty