Texas 16 Oklahoma 13
Injuries, Turnovers, Penalties…A Familiar Formula for Defeat

“The weather is here, I wish you were beautiful” – Jimmy Buffett

The weather was gorgeous. The football game…well, not so much.

Can we talk about this 11 AM kickoff thing? AM kickoffs suck. A college football game of this magnitude should not kickoff at the same time that other networks are airing the likes of Speed Racer and Hong Kong Phooey. Look, I don’t mind having a warm Lone Star and a pop tart while Big Tex is still in his feety jammies…but it would be nice if I had time to identify and apologize to those I offended on Friday night, before I do it again on Saturday. I’m just sayin’.

The 2009 most talked about food at the State Fair? Fried butter. Not even The OAS would eat that. Seriously, fried butter? Wow

Despite the early start time, The OAS was in rare form for this one. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I was…how do I say this…well, in this rare of form. I guess I was excited to get to the game, because I forgot to turn the car off completely…which I guess was convenient, because it made it a lot easier for me to leave the keys in the ignition. The car was miraculously still there when we returned, but needless to say the battery was a little tired.

Thankfully, Blake and Sally were also leaving when we were and had jumper cables. Unfortunately, Sally also had video capability on her camera and caught a rather unfortunate moment I had with the parking lot attendant and his orange flag. I will attach the link if I can figure out how. (See attached link)


I forgot to eat until it was way too late. Usually I am good for one or two pork chop sandwiches before the game, which can be a good base…but unless it was liquid and came out of a flask or a wax plastic cup, I didn’t bother with it this year.

I forgot to pace myself…for the OU/Texas game I always take two flasks, one for the first half, and one for the second…and then pray there is no overtime. With 6 minutes to go in the second quarter I was well into flask number two…not good for me, not good for those with me, not good for those around me…hell…it was just not good.

I forgot to not let idiots get to me…A Texas fan pushed me while I was standing at the urinal in the bathroom. He laughed, I didn’t. Suffice to say, what happened next wasn’t pretty. The good news was that after a semi-lengthy speech from the “bathroom cop” I got to continue watching the game from my seat inside the Cotton Bowl and not one inside the Dallas County Jail.

The Game

Sooners come out of the locker room and dominated everywhere but the scoreboard. Their small 6-0 lead evaporates due to injuries, mistakes, turnovers, penalties, poor coaching decisions, inability to score inside the red zone and missed field goals. Sound familiar? Same thing has happened in all four of the games that OU has lost in 2009 (don’t forget the Orange Bowl in January). I find it strange that that a perennial BCS bowl team is trying to learn how to win…team leaders or coaching?

OU kicker…Jimmy Stevens. The nicest thing I can say about our field goal kicker is that he is not dependable. Anything outside of 30 yards is anybody’s guess. He clanked one off the upright that luckily went thru. The Texas fans thought he had missed the second one, and by his reaction, he did too. His third one did miss…and the Sooners lost by three. In my opinion it is time to give Tress Way a chance to do the place kicking. At least then when I yell,”No f****** Way” it will be as accurate as it is offensive. F****** kickers.

There is never going to be many, if any, sentimental moments between OU and Texas fans…but sometimes the lack of respect for each other really crosses the line. There will always be some morons, regardless of team affiliation, that cheer injury…but I was shocked by the roar that came from the orange end of the Cotton Bowl when Bradford went down. The reaction was completely classless and reprehensible….and believe me if the situation was reversed I would be saying the same thing about our fans.

Can someone make a play? Somebody,anybody?

The difference between winning and losing can often come down to a single play or two. As was the case in the previous two losses this season, the Sooners just could not seem to make a game changing play when the opportunity presented itself…and the opportunities were definitely there. Here are just a couple of plays that stand out.

*Score if you have too. DeMarco Murray needs to find a way to get into the end zone on that screen pass during the first drive. The Sooners offense has little confidence in the red zone these days; if he takes that play to the house it makes a big difference. I hate to join the Kevin Wilson lynch mob…but in my opinion…the play calling inside the 10 yard line after Murray failed to score was predictably horrible.

*Catch and release program. Keenan Clayton dropped not one, but two interceptions…both times he would have easily scored IF he makes the catch. If…if a frog had wings he wouldn’t bust his ass every time he jumped.

* Don’t be afraid to bust a move. Brian Jackson makes great INT, but can’t elude the only thing between him and the end-zone….QB McCoy. Look, I know it is easy for a guy sitting in the stands drinking an adult beverage to say…but it looked like all he had to do was make a cut. Maybe I am wrong and McCoy just made a great play, but I would be willing to bet that BJ would like that one back.

Things that make you say hmmm or maybe worse…

*Ghost of Mark Bradley. Dom Franks decision to try and field the punt in the first quarter was very reminiscent of Mark Bradley’s flub in the 2005 Orange Bowl. If it was in the middle of the field, then maybe you write it off to he was trying to makes something happen…but he had a Horn bearing down on him and he was pinned to the sidelines. While it was not the complete change in momentum avalanche that Bradley’s gaff created, it was a key factor.

*Wishbone R.I.P. Oklahoma had -16 yards rushing…yes that’s right…negative 16 yards. That means that I had 16 more yards rushing than the Sooners.

*Dubious achievement. No other returning Heisman winning QB has ever been knocked out of two different games in one season…until now. Not exactly the kind of achievement an offensive line wants to be remembered for.

*Not so handy. Landry Jones can’t make a simple hand-off to DeMarco Murray…the result is a fumble inside the Texas red-zone. The fumbled exchange cost the Sooners, at minimum, a chance to miss another field goal.

*Much Madu about something. Madu’s fumble of the kickoff after the first Longhorns field goal was a killer. Sooners would have had decent field position and a chance to re-establish momentum. The sound you just heard was the contents of flask two being poured over ice.

*That’s my line. The OAS: “Either (a) I’m drunk, or (b) that is Brody Eldridge at right guard” Terry: “how about (c)…all of the above”

*Picture on a Milk Carton…Travis Lewis? Lewis? Anyone seen Travis Lewis? TL had an uncharacteristically quite day.

*Reach out and touch someone. I don’t understand why Ryan Broyles only touched the ball one time? Considering he scored the only Sooner TD the one time he got to hold the ball, I might have found a chance to let him try it again. Just me.

*Help me understand. Can someone please explain the WR rotation to me? Did D. Miller miss the team bus?

What I think I know from what I think I saw:

*In the name of full disclosure, let me state for the record that I am not a Brent Venables fan…but that being said, I thought his defensive game plan for Texas was brilliant. I noticed not just one, but several blitz packages that were either new or seldom used before. This is a good defense…but a defense that has not been able to make a pivotal stop or make a game changing play in close games. Saturday, this unit was stellar…they played with heart and passion and continually came up big no matter the situation they were put in….still though, the difference in good and great is the ability to change the outcome when given the opportunity…this defense is about 5 dropped INT’s from having good replaced with the word great.

In my opinion, the Longhorns are a very good football team, but not a great football team. Since the Big 12 is way down, they should win out…which should put them in the title game. An objective Horns fan would agree with me that they have some weaknesses and need to improve, which they certainly have time to do.

Colt McCoy did not have a good day. Yes, he got his team a win, but very easily could have cost them the same. He is not having the type season most thought he would and Saturday probably ended any Colt McCoy for Heisman conversations. That being said, even as a Sooner fan, Colt McCoy is the kind of kid you can’t help but root for. He is a class act on and off the field...Plain and simple, the kid is a winner.

Post Game

We made it to the post game “spot”…took the annual group picture…but that was about it for The OAS.

Dallas Police Officer to The OAS: “You can leave on your own, or my partner and I would be glad to assist you….it’s your call.” And just like that 2009 OU/Texas was over.

It is no secret that this is my favorite weekend of the year. While the game is important, the chance to spend some time with friends is what I love most about OU/Texas. It was good to see everyone…Boomer

Please see pictures of facebook

Just the opinion of one mildly interested guy

Buddy Putty

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Week 4
More South Beach Pain for Sooners vs. Canes


Therapist: “Wow, you look like hell. Can I get you something to drink? Water…maybe some coffee? Or should I just get you a glass and some ice and let you make another cocktail from you breath?”

The OAS: “Yeah, sorry about that. I had a pretty rough weekend.”

Therapist: “Man, I guess so. What happened to your arm? Why is it in a sling?”

The OAS: “Oh that….I think I got to close to the TV and one of the OU offensive lineman grabbed me and held me while another lineman leg whipped me. I guess they ran out of people on the opposing team to commit personal fouls against and took it out on me.”

Therapist: “Un Huh…Look, if you want to pay me $150 an hour to lie to me, it’s your meter…just let me remind you however, that when you tried that same strategy in your first marriage it didn’t work out to well for you….I’m just sayin’”

The OAS: “I think I accidently fell off my barstool when that bouncer asked me to leave the bar where I watched the game. Truth is…other than my feelings, I’m not really hurt…I just thought I would use the opportunity to act like I was. Having a hurt shoulder is all the rage in Norman right now. I’m telling people that it’s a sprained AT&T joint in my shoulder….since it is my drinking shoulder, I probably won’t be able to resume text messaging or tequila shots for 2-4 weeks pending the breathalyzer tests.”

Therapist: “Well, I can see that being serious is off to a very slow start…but hey, I don’t need to point that out to you….I mean, who would know more about seriously slow starts these days, than a Sooner fan?”

The OAS: “Why do you have to be that way? I am on suicide watch and need a hug, not abuse. And to think I actually pay for this. Ok…You want serious? How about all the injuries that keep afflicting our top offensive playmakers? When we play Texas in two weeks we might have as many as three NFL first round draft picks standing on the Cotton Bowl sidelines. The only thing that they will be able to help the team score is prescription pain killers.”

Therapist: “Hey, here is an idea…why don’t we focus on you?”

The OAS: "That is my favorite subject."

Therapist: "I know you are really down….and while I still feel there are much more important issues in life, I understand how important OU football is too you. Losing to BYU 14-13 and to Miami 21-20 has to be tough on you. How are you holding up?"

The OAS: "Please don’t say holding"

Therapist: "For God sake, would you please work with me here"

The OAS: "I guess I am feeling a little conflicted. I would say that about 30% of me is angry…and another 30% of me is really disappointed."

Therapist: "OK…Go on…"

The OAS: "Oh, yeah…well, the other 39% of me is pretty much just drunk."

Therapist: "That’s mature…God this must be what is it is like to work with Gary Bussey...and the last part?"

The OAS: "What last part, I’m not following you"

Therapist: "Look, I know you’re from Oklahoma, so I am sensitive to your limited math skills, but we’re still coming up a little short here, are we not?"

The OAS: "Oh…I know, Doc…and therein lye’s the problem and the reason I am here…this just isn’t adding up for me…part of me feels missing or lost. What do you think?"

Therapist: "You really want to know?"

The OAS: "No, I just want to pay you to keep me in the dark."

Therapist: "It’s simple really… I think you are just a typical 2009 Sooner…"

The OAS: "What does that mean?"

Therapist: "Always ONE point short of where you need to be."

The OAS: "Ouch"

Just the Opinion Of One Mildly Interested Guy

Buddy Putty

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

WEEK 2: OU vs. IDAHO ST.
Norman, Oklahoma

HELP WANTED, ONLY CUPCAKES NEED APPLY

Normally, I hate games like this. It’s your typical early season home game against an over matched Division II opponent. The game is no more than a glorified scrimmage, the results of which are so banal and predictable that after it is over, you wonder what the purpose was. The reason: these early season games are all about the guarantee. The University receives all the financial gains that are normally associated with home game…the Sooners are assured a blow-out win…and Idaho St? Well, Bob, tell them what they’ve won: “like all Division II opponents who appear at Memorial Stadium, the Bengals will receive a generous check, a large dose of humiliation, and a lifetime supply of Johnson’s Turtle Wax.”

Yes, normally I hate these games...but normal got its ass kicked by a bunch of Mormon boy scouts on national television last week…normal is MIA when a tight-end suddenly becomes your starting center and your right tackle keeps jumping off-sides before he even gets a chance to illegally use his hands. Normal was suppose to be a returning Heisman Trophy winning QB throwing to a first team All-American TE…not a red-shirt freshman with a porn-stache watching the play clock expire on the one yard line. Normal is not watching Bob Stoops get out coached on National TV in a bowl type atmosphere by some guy named Bronco…OK, OK…maybe that last one was not a good example…but the point is…nothing is normal in Norman these days. This team needed some confidence…this team needed a cupcake…

…And man did it get one...

The Offense
Grooming issues aside, Landry Jones looked pretty good. He seems to have a presence about him and was seemingly in control of both the team and his own emotions, which is a big thing. He possesses a big arm, but he also showed some touch and accuracy, which was especially impressive considering the conditions. Yes, there were also some mistakes…he tried to throw into double coverage several times …and the pass he tried to make to Clapp in the flats would have been picked off and returned for a touchdown by any other team on the schedule.

Some will also say that it was obvious that Jones was locked in on one receiver (and he was), and that he needs to spread the ball around more (yes and no). Let me put it to you like this: If you are looking for your car keys, and you find them in the first place you look, then you don’t continue to look for them just because there are other places that they conceivably could have been. So yes, maybe he was locked in on Broyles, but as a former QB (albeit on a slightly different level) I can tell you this…if you look up and see an open receiver, you throw it to him…especially if you know he is going to catch it when you do. Smart guys those quarterbacks.

The problem going forward is that teams are certainly going to double cover Broyles…so you would like to know that Jones can go thru his progressions and find some one else if necessary. But who says he didn’t? This situation, in my opinion, could be just as much about the other receivers as it is the QB. Are the other receivers getting open? Will they catch it if he throws it to them? Do they like his mustache?

I don’t understand how OU can have such a drop off in talent at this position. Considering the style of offense the Sooners run, and who has been running it, you would think that top WR’s around the country would flock to Norman. True, the Sooners have been close to landing the top WR recruit in the nation in recent years (see Julio Jones last year), only to be spurned on signing day…but evidently those efforts were an all or nothing attempt to fill the position, because no one on this roster outside of Broyles seems capable of stepping up.

What about the TE? Not much help here since the tight ends had the same number of catches in the game that I did…none. All I read about on message boards is about what great hands Hanna has…great hands for what? Is he the team masseuse, or a TE? If he is the later, get him in the frickin game.

The running game….The Sooners have the ability to trot out not one, but two returning 1000 yard rushers from a year ago…but until the Sooners show or prove they can throw a pass deeper than 15 yards, defenses are going to continue to creep up to contain the run. You can trot out Emmitt Smith or bring back AD, but it won’t matter if the O-line sucks. Speaking of, and I know you have been:

Offensive Line
When the music stopped this week, Eldridge was back at TE, Habern was back starting at center and a true freshman named Tyler Evans was starting at guard. Cory Brandon and his 6 penalties were holding down the bench this week instead of opposing defensive lineman. I agree that changes should have been and needed to be made here…but what I don’t understand is all the position changes. Are you a guard, or a tackle? Are you a tight end or a center? Are you a punter or a place kicker? My unsolicited opinion? Why not pick one position for a player…then the player learns that one position and all that goes with it…then when he goes into a game he knows what to do…which would seemingly increase his chances at producing positive results. Hey, there is a reason I am still undefeated…Call me coaches, I am here for you.

Any chance of this team reaching the goals they set for themselves going into the season is contingent upon whether or not this unit can drastically improve. With reports that Bradford may be back sooner than later (today’s rumor is that family and doctors are advising not playing again) an improved offensive line could still allow the Sooners a chance to be in the hunt for a 4th straight Big 12 Title. Status quo from the big uglies and Sooner fans can start looking into Independence Bowl packages. Judging from the first drive of the game when the Sooners failed to score on 4 straight tries from the one yard line…against the Bengals of Idaho St… a trip to Shreveport, LA may be in the Sooner Nations future. Hey, I hear it is great there in December.

Yes, as expected OU got a W Saturday night…but what else did it accomplish? I don’t think it would be a stretch to say that the Idaho St. Bengals were the worst team the Sooners have ever hosted at Memorial Stadium…so how much do you take from some of the good things we witnessed last Saturday night? There are still a lot of questions surrounding these 2009 Sooners…Will the Sooners start to find some answers starting this week at home against Tulsa or for sure a couple weeks later in Miami? I don’t know, but one thing is certain, the questions won’t be coming from a cupcake, they will come in the form of a Hurricane.

Just One Mildly Interested Guys Opinion

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Buddy Putty

GAMEDAY
OU vs. BYU (Dallas, TX)


“Oh, my mamma told me, there’ll be days like this” –Van Morrison

Game Day…Dress for success by The OAS

A new season means new game-day stuff for The OAS. The first item on the off-season shopping list is always the new OU game-day polo by Nike. Yes, I know that I have 30 other Sooner shirts hanging in the closet. And yes, I realize that the 2009 Nike version will differ very little from those I purchased the previous three seasons…but out of respect for the team, I just think it’s important to a least start the season wearing something you haven’t stained with mustard or puked taco bell on yet.

I usually buy my shirts on-line because it is so easy, but I do miss the reaction I use to get from store clerks when I told them I was looking for something ‘drunk casual’ in a XXL.

I am sad to report that my favorite OU visor was unable to recover from the unfortunate and tragic accident that occurred after last January’s Orange Bowl. After an exhaustive off-season search, a suitable replacement was finally found, as was a back up. Saturday I chose to wear the white visor that the store described as the ‘OU Sooners Stoops Coaching Visor’…I must have bought the BCS Bowl version of the OU Sooners Stoops Coaching visor. I am sad to report that my new favorite OU visor was unable to recover from the unfortunate and tragic accident that occurred after Saturday nights BYU game.

My brown leather OU belt coordinated beautifully with my flip-flops, proving once again that The OAS can be both sensible and stylish. The shirt, visor and belt, put me at my fan fashion limit…which is my self imposed rule of never wearing more than three clothing items at a time adorned with OU….You want the fashion look you’re throwing down to say: Look at me, I’m a serious fan…not…Look at me, I just beat up Vanna White and took all her vowels.

The OAS Game-Day Tailgate Report
I love the 6:00 PM kick-off. It just allows the whole day to fall into place.

6:00-6:01 AM: Get up…take a piss… go back to bed. 9:00 AM: Get up…turn on GameDay…go back to bed. 10:00 AM: Breakfast of donuts and bloddy-mary’s…in bed. 11:00 AM: Load enough beer and liquor into the SUV that should there be a wreck…life jackets would make more sense than seat belts Noon: Fill flasks, secure game tickets and start threatening to leave anyone that is not ready to go in exactly one hour….have a beer to calm the nerves 12:30: Call John Payne to see if he is still coming or not…drink a beer to calm the nerves. 12:40: Spend some last chance quality time in the bathroom while wondering if John Payne is going to show up or not. 1:00: Set to pull away, but no one else is ready. Have a beer to calm the nerves. Wonder if John Payne is going to be mad that I left him. 1:30 Finally leave the house to head to the tailgate spot. 1:31 Go back to the house to get whatever it was, that whoever it was forgot. 2:15 Arrive at the parking lot 2:16 hand parking pass to parking lot person (SEE PICTURE ABOVE) 2:17 parking lot person thanks you and smiles…at which time you notice the parking lot person has metal teeth 2:19: Mention to the parking lot person that you think it might be possible for Martha Stewart to make a toaster and half a blender from all the metal in his mouth. 2:20: Invite parking lot person to our tailgate. 2:21: Try not to act like I was kidding when he agrees to join us 2:22: Stare in amazement that John Payne beat me to the spot. 2:23: Apologize to John Payne for not remembering what the plan was. 2:24: Try to get my high dollar, Portable Satellite DirecTv to work 2:40: Normally reliable TV wont get reception…ask parking lot person if he would stand next to the TV and let me use his bicuspid’s as an antenna 2:50: Blow off TV and spend the next hour and a half drinking and discussing the merits of flossing with the parking lot person 4:15: Flock to the air-conditioned oasis of Jerry’s World…4:30 Successfully sneak a flask the size of a football past Barney Fife at the front door of Jerry’s World 5:00 Watch several video’s on incredible 11,500 sq ft., 60 yard long HD Jumbotron. 5:30 Start heading for the seats, which courtesy of David Barnes, are located on the 40 yard line of the club level (Thanks again, David) 5:45 Notice that seats are in the BYU section…wonder to myself if the Mormons have ever experienced hearing the f-word used as a noun, verb and adjective in the same sentence like I am capable of doing during an OU game. 5:50 buy an eight dollar cup of ice. 5:51 Poor large amount of Crown Royal over the $8 cup of ice 5:56 Watch the Sooner Schooner, pulled by Boomer and Sooner, take the field…5:59 Watch the Sooners take the field and smile for the last time all night.

Pony Poop.
Occasionally something will happen in the first few minutes of a football game that sets the tone for how things will go the rest of the night. That something is usually a turnover…a big hit…or someone returning a kick for a touchdown. Saturday night…it was pony poop.

The Sooner Schooner is a Conestoga (a fancy word for covered wagon) reminiscent of the one used by pioneers who settled the Oklahoma Territory around the time of the 1889 Land Run. The wagon, first introduced at OU in 1964, is driven by a member of the Ruf/Nek spirit squad and powered by matching white ponies named Boomer and Sooner. Are you with me so far?

Anyway, one of the traditional duties of the Schooner is to lead the team onto the field before every game….which is why the Schooner was positioned on the field near the south end-zone shortly before kickoff last Saturday night.

One of the traditional duties of a pony is to take very large dumps…which is why there was a mammoth crap positioned on the 2 yard line near the south end-zone shortly before kickoff last Saturday night.

Typical Okies, right? Invite us to a party at your brand new $1.3 billion home and what do we do? We bring along a couple of midget, albino ponies and laugh as one of them drops a 4 pound steamer on your new carpet. Hey, shit happens, right? Problem is, shit continued to happed all night…and I promise you, no one in the Sooner Nation thought it was very funny.

The Game

“Oh, the last one hurt like hell, knocked the wind right out of my sails, I’ll be alright in time, but it’s gonna leave a beauty of a scar.” --Radney Foster

Unbelievable. I don’t know whether it was the fact that: it was the opening game of the season, or that we looked so unprepared, or that our Heisman Trophy winning QB was knocked out of the game, or that the Morman’s seemed unaffected by my cussing, or that I ran out of crown in the 4th quarter…but yes, this one hurt like hell.

I spent way more time than I should of last week trying to write something about this game in the blog…something funny, or insightful or uplifting….but I had a big bag of nothing to show for it.

I have decided that there is not much need to re-live the low-lights, you know what happened and how the game ended up. I think with this game, it is best to just put it behind us....at least until my therapist returns my phone call.

Just the Opinion of one extremely disappointed Sooner fan

The Overweight Armchair Sooner

Buddy Putty

CRIMSON AND CREAM VIEW OF THINGS
Season 5, Issue 2

“It’s been a long time since I rock and rolled…Ooh, let me get it back, let me get it back, let me get it back, baby, where I come from…It’s been a long time, been a long time, been a lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely time…yes it has.” –Led Zeppelin

I would like to think that we all have something in our lives that moves us; an endeavor that we are fervent about. For me that something is Oklahoma Sooners football…but before I talk about why…let me point out why just a few others are not.

Thanks, but no thanks…

Reality TV. No thank you. My own life is a reality television series with more unexpected twists, turns and drama than any producer could possible conjure up…and I don’t have to even TiVo ahead to skip the commercials. Plus…I was very disappointed when I decided to watch an episode of ‘Wife Swap’. Let’s just say that it had a completely different premise than I was hoping.

Outdoor Adventure. Hiking? I really don’t see this happening. The fact that I have actually considered driving as an option when going to get the newspaper at the end of the driveway…leads me to believe that walking uphill while carrying a bunch of shit on my back is not going to ‘fan my emotional flames’. Besides, hiking usually leads to camping. I don’t think so here either. My idea of roughing it is a black and white TV at a Holiday Inn…so sleeping without central heat or air, crapping from a crouch over a log or cooking over a fire without my non-stick cookware…doesn't sound like my idea of a good time.

I thought about fishing…The sport has some positive qualities. There is no exercise involved and you can drink while you do it…but in the name of full disclosure, I have to be honest about something: Fish creep me out. Fish are all cold and slimy and have those dark, ugly, spooky eyes. The bottom line is that the only time I will touch a fish is when it is lying next to a baked potato...so unless Bill Dance is willing to come along and unhook every perch I catch, I don’t see fishing happening too often for me.

My brother-in-law is a big time, big game hunter. He has offered to take me some place north of Canada too hunt black bear. First of all, I didn’t even know there was a ‘north of Canada’…but that is of secondary concern. Bear? Really? I know Marlon Perkins makes it look easy on Wild Kingdom and all, but hunting bear seems like a lot of pressure. The last time I went hunting I was 9, so I’m thinking maybe I should start out with something a little less ‘Wide World of Sports’…like say…a squirrel or the neighbor’s cat…and not something that is going to eat me if I miss. Besides, my past experience with hunting is that it requires you to get up early, sit out in the cold, and wear camouflage…no, no and no.
Talk about passion and obsessions?...If my brother in law is any indication, then it would seem that hunters are equally as obsessed with their hobby as I am mine…only their obsession includes a loaded firearm. Is that really a good idea for me?

There is just a little something missing…

Like talent…I love to play the guitar, but it seems others are less enthusiastic when it comes to listening. The common opinion is that I suck. When I recently asked my guitar instructor to rate my progress…he advised me to take a couple weeks off…then quit all together.
Like dedication…For years now I have pledged to learn more conversational Spanish. This years excuse….Swine Flu.
Like children: I noticed that all my friends seem to enjoy being involved with the sports that their children play. Some of my friends coach, some just scream at the coach, but they all mention how much they love it. So, even though I have no children of my own, I decided to call the local youth league and volunteer to help coach a youth league team. Well, as it turns out, some parents find it strange and somewhat disconcerting when a 43 year old single male with no children of his own…shows up wanting to coach young boys. You would have thought I was Michael Jackson or a Catholic Priest with a whistle. I have been called a lot of things before, some of them were probably accurate and even deserved…but I have to draw a line here…sucks too…I bought all these new polyester coaching shorts and didn’t even get to scream at a kid.

To much of a bad thing….

I love to cook…so I have been doing more of that lately. Problem here is that my culinary point of view seems to involve a lot of butter and bacon. Red wine has always been a passion of mine…so I have been trying to slowly rebuild what was once a respectable collection…which is good, because slowly is definitely the way it is going. I continue to keep violating the basic fundamental rule of collecting, which is keeping more wine than you drink.
I have also grown an affinity for good cigars. I joined a Cigar Club and really like going there in the afternoon for a cigar and a cocktail or two. I realize cigar smoking is not the healthiest addition, but hey, what’s one more vice at this point? I can hear my make-believe therapist now: “What…over-weight and drunk wasn’t enough, so you decided to add shortness of breath to the mix?” Bitch

Moderation: to lessen the intensity or extremeness of….

This may come as a surprise to some of you, but I am not a big fan of moderation. Hate it actually. To me moderation is like a colonoscopy…a big giant pain in the ass that unfortunately becomes more and more necessary with age.

Yesterday, I orchestrated a make-believe Freud session to poke a little fun at myself. I am a passionate person. I know I am a little over the top at times. I am either all in or could absolutely care less. A bit manic I realize, but it is what it is. That passion has been both friend and foe to me in life….opening many doors of opportunity…slamming shut some others. Not much moderation going on here.

When you are emotionally all in, you open yourself up for disappointment, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Taking risk is what makes the reward so sweet.
So as a passionate fan who was all in…watching the Sooners come up short against Florida was a disappointment, a little depressing. But would you rather be a Baylor fan and not ever worry about disappointment, or have a shot at glory knowing that falling short has its consequences? That one is easy for me....I will buy a new lamp every time.

But for me, the reality is this…I was going to be depressed either way. While a Sooner victory and National Championship would have been wonderful, it would not change the fact that the next day the college football season would still be over.

In my life, OU football cannot be reduced to a mere game… no doubt I am passionate about what happens between the lines, but I am even more passionate about what happens outside of them. Sooner football is where new friends are made and more importantly my oldest friendships are renewed. It is where I get a chance to watch my friends children grow up…while at the same time watching my friends spend the day pretending like they haven’t. Sooner football games have been the backdrop for some of my greatest memories, emotional highs and lows, and the stage for which some of the craziest things in my life have happened. It will no doubt be the stage for which new favorite memories will be born. Sooner football is about life….my life anyway, and to me that is something worth being a little over the top for. I am trying to justify an obsession? Rose colored glasses? No…mine are crimson & cream.

Yes, it’s been a long time since I rock and rolled…time to get it back…its been a lonely, lonely, lonely time…yes it has. Put away your moderation…it time to rock and roll

Just the Opinion of One Mildly Interested Guy

Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner

DEFEAT, DESPAIR & OFF-SEASON REPAIRS
Season 5, Issue 1 (8/24/2009)

“Just when every ray of hope was gone...I should have known that you would come along…I can’t believe I ever doubted you…my old friend the Blues.” –Steve Earle

January 8th, 2009

Florida Gators 24 Oklahoma Sooners 14

January 9th, 2009

Therapist: “I see your back for your annual January counseling session?”
The Overweight Armchair Sooner (The OAS): “That is not funny. This is serious, I am very depressed.”
Therapist: “Your right, it’s not funny. The fact that you continue to let yourself get so emotionally invested in a game played by mere kids, is not only unhealthy, it is sad.”
The OAS: “Wow, gloves are off early Doc. I was hoping you might be a little more supportive.”
Therapist: “Offering support has not seemed to work with you. You are supposed to be an adult. Instead you are like the Benjamin Buttons of football fans, the older you get the younger you act. Your emotional well being and the physical well being of those around you should not be contingent on things like whether or not a 5’1” 145 lbs., nineteen year old kid can kick a ball through iron posts.”
The OAS: “Stupid kickers.”
Therapist: “And that is another thing…most humans with their priorities in tact would not call these kids names. Why can’t you support your team in a positive manner…making physical threats of violence against a student athlete and/or his mother is a bit excessive don’t you feel?”
The OAS: “But we…”
Therapist: “We? Do you play on the team now? Look, it is one thing to be disappointed when the team you “support” loses…but quite another when it results in a two day hangover, hand written apologies, and a trip to Home Depot.”
The OAS: “I didn’t like that lamp anyway, besides I was so tired of hearing about the ‘perfect’ Tim Tebow. Tebow this, Tebow that, visits orphans, jumps tall buildings, helps old ladies cross the street. Sickening. Did you know he has publicly stated that he is a virgin? What? Are you kidding? Here’s a thought Timmy; why don’t you take a TV time-out from your gig as an African orphanage candy striper…and go get yourself laid? The kids will still be hungry tomorrow. Hell, if it will help your conscious, I will even mail a buck in your name to Sally Struthers so she can fill in for you. What good does it do you to have a Heisman trophy, if you are not going to use it to get laid? Clearly he has to be gay or have some fetish for farm animals”…I’m just sayin’.
Therapist: “….that is wrong on so many levels that I don’t even know where to start…other than by saying, you’re a moron. So let me get this straight, any person that has values and morals is a loser and either gay or a goat lover?”
The OAS: “I was thinking more sheep, but OK.”
Therapist: “Well, that gay, goat loving virgin sure kicked your ass last night, didn’t he?”
The OAS: “Am I really paying for this?”
Therapist: It’s time to grow up, Buddy. Nobody thinks it’s funny anymore.
You need a hobby, some other interests, some balance. Spend the off-season growing as a person…then come back and see me.
The OAS: OK Doc, I’ll try. Any thoughts on how I should get started?
Therapist: Yes…by writing me a check for $125.

...Next: Offseason Hobby Hunting with The OAS

Boomer,

Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner

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HELLO AGAIN
Season 5, Intro Edition

Welcome to season five of The Overweight Armchair Sooner. For anyone new to The OAS, this is nothing more than a personal blog or journal. Started in 2005 and distributed to all of 20 people, I figured it might last a week…now sites are offering me money to advertise on it. Crazy. Built around my passion (some would argue obsession) for Oklahoma Sooner football, this blog is an attempt to express my emotions and write about two things I love...OU football and me. Cheaper than therapy, this is a place where I can go and try to make myself (and hopefully others) laugh. Where I can rant and rave or maybe just get away from life for a while. Amazingly or sadly, depending on your outlook…my life seems to have no problem providing an endless supply of material from which to work with…and in the rare instance that the actual occurrence wasn’t enough… The OAS is not above a little embellishment.

For those who have been around for a while, thank you. Your support, feedback, criticism and accolades have made this one of the most rewarding and enlightening things I have ever done. Last year, real life got in the way and I stopped making time for this journal. That was a mistake. Making time for what makes us happy is an important part of life…at least for me anyway.

Yes, I am no doubt obsessed with OU football. Is the obsession over the top? Probably. I will poke some fun at that in Issue 1 tomorrow, but explain while I am not ashamed of it in Issue 2 the following day.

Thanks again to all. I look forward to seeing everyone in Dallas for the BYU game...looks like we have a chance to be really good again.

Boomer Sooner

Buddy Putty
The Overweight Armchair Sooner

ADMINISTRATIVE NOTES
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I will also be posting a link on Facebook when new updates are ready…I also plan to start circulating a “Fan of the Overweight Armchair Sooner” link on Facebook as well…as soon as I figure out how. If you know of any other way for me to self-promote, I am always open. It’s all about me!